Wednesday, 27 August 2014


Nilkawt has an excellent, extensive and anonymous media service, as well as a few more prominent and better funded sources of lesser quality.  All of the digital media services of Nilkawt are operated from outside Nilkawtian territory.

The central government of Nilkawt owns the The Nilkawtian Gazette, which publishes all the important facts and figures about Nilkawt and the districts surrounding it.  No-one outside the government itself currently reads the current editions of The Nilkawtian Gazette even though it is produced on a daily basis at great expense.

Most government ministers in Nilkawt are known to ignore facts and figures, which has always been quite a common phenomenon in most governments around the world. This means that the The Nilkawtian Gazette is only of practical use to the official historians of Nilkawt, all of whom are always fully occupied in writing The Nilkawtian Chronicles.

Each local government area within Nilkawt has its own newspaper, each of which is called The Local.  These are owned by the centralised Local Government Administration Service, which itself is owned by the central government of Nilkawt.  Unfortunately, most Nilkawtians are rarely able to tell which version of  The Local belongs to their local area and which of the other types of The Local are supposed to be more relevant to one of the other counties.

No "free" newspapers are permitted in Nilkawt.  No printed advertising or billboards are permitted in Nilkawt, either.  This ensures that the beauty of each local area is enhanced with some efficiency and that the recycling facilities of Nilkawt are not used unnecessarily.

The Nilkawtian Gazette and The Local are available by annual subscription.  Payments and mailings are arranged through the Opulent Office of the Prime Minister.  That office, as everyone in Nilkawt knows, is usually staffed only by properly trained members of the acting profession, none of whom have any administrative abilities whatsoever. 

The actors are, however, exceptionally proficient at method acting, ensuring they all have the ability to act on the world stage as a head of government, a deputy head of government, a deputy foreign minister or deputy head of state at a moment's notice, without anyone noticing anything odd.  They are experts at performing at press conferences, publicity stunts and global junkets.

For the real news in Nilkawt, most Nilkawtians seek out the most excellent news blogs produced for the benefit of all the people in their local area, just as the people of Adelaide do.  However, the Constitution of Nilkawt requires these either to be read from outside Nilkawtian territory or to be expensively printed before importation.   Discussing news is always a private pursuit in Nilkawt, unless is involves policy matters.