The Government of Nilkawt relies on both Nilkawtian and Australian sources for much of its climatological information. This particularly applies to climatological information of the statistical sort but fortunately not for its climate policies.
The Nilkawtian Bureau of Meteorology (NBM) recently had its budget
cut. This was mainly due to the fact that the bureau usually relies on the Australian Bureau
of Meteorology rather than the Nilkawtian Ministry for Pleasant Weather, for most
of its forecasting.
Most of the staff of the NBM have had
very little to do but gather statistics and play with charts of data for the past twelve hundred years.
As the data is now all collected and documented digitally, the only member of staff
remaining at the NBM is the energetic part-time cleaner, Mrs Wendy
For climate statistics, the NBM relies on all the Nilkawtian citizenry rather than just the BOM, CSIRO, and the totally inadequate NBN. The citizens of Nilkawt certainly do not expect to rely on the quite-likely-never-to-be-properly-built Nilkawtian Broadband
Nilkawt's climate policies are formulated through the Nilkawtian
Ministry for Pleasant Weather, with only very slight assistance from the
current minister, Ms Sheila B. Wright. The minister has stated that neither she nor her department are responsible
for the current, practically non-existent and therefore ineffective Nilkawtian climate policies. She advises everyone to blame it on the weather and
the Australian government.
The Constitution of Nilkawt requires every Nilkawtian
household to gather environmental statistics three times a day, just before mealtimes. At the end of
each month, citizens are required to send the statistics to the NBM for analytical and synthetical processing. After the monthly statistics are processed, the results are produced as
glorious, full-colour data charts and then beautifully printed and
The finished monthly product is then gift-wrapped and sent to the
Minister for Pleasant Weather by hot air balloon, even when the weather
is exceedingly unpleasant. For this reason, most of the local statistics
required for the formulation of locally-relevant climatological policies, particularly those of some usefulness to
future Nilkawtians, have been lost in transit.