Students of the Matildan School of Physical Education, Legal Traditions and Unjustifiable Wealth Transfers have now been advised in writing that all their courses have been cancelled. No refunds are available. The school has closed down and all the doors have been locked.
The receivers of the school have been examining the assets. They have also been taking what they believe to be their own fair share of them, before the processing of most other claims begins.
The secured assets of the school, namely the buildings themselves, are now in the process of being transferred to the ownership of the only secured creditor, namely the Nilkawtian head of state, Her Illustrious Highness Twaklin I. In her infinite wisdom, the good lady has already begun her patronage of a new law school in Nilkawt, namely the Twaklinian School of International and Constitutional Law and Peace.
The former teachers of the Matildan school are currently in the process of applying for new positions. Unfortunately, very few teachers of the former educational institution are considered to be assets themselves. Most of the students are not considered to be assets either, having been sent to the Matildan school by wealthy parents with the primary aim of learning how to expand the family portfolio of assets.
The new school will, of course, teach some of the same material as the old school. For example, waltzing, legal history, philosophy and international diplomacy will remain as part of the curriculum. Manipulative rhetoric, competitive jogging, aggressive debating, surprise invoicing, arrogant debt collecting and winning at all costs will not be taught in the new school.
New subjects will include meditation, international law, international finance, international insurance, constitutional law, mediation, minuets and theories of taxation. Students wishing to transfer to the new school will need to reapply. All fees are payable in advance. All scholarships are provided on the basis of social justice.