Thursday, 28 April 2016

Performance Venues

There are many state-of-the-art performance venues in Nilkawt, the most prestigious being the Thrown Room in the royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt.  In almost every Nilkawtian community, there are art galleries and museums and music venues with beautiful acoustics. 

Those venues are all funded and managed by the communities themselves, mainly through sales of tickets, merchandise packages, tourism packages, VIP packages, hospitality packages, accommodation packages, educational packages, publicity packages, rehearsal packages and talent development packages.  This may account for the venues themselves being frequently packed.

Every county of Nilkawt has at least one highly adaptable conference centre.  Those centres are often fully booked for operatic performances throughout the year.  The community music venues are also suitable for theatrical works, which is why they are often used for political debates.

The county courts of Nilkawt are themselves designed for adaptable, theatrical purposes.  The justices hold centre stage under a proscenium arch every morning.  Amateur comedies and operettas take place in the afternoons and true-to-life police interrogations occur in the evenings.

Visitors are often amazed at the authenticity in the evening theatrical performances.  This is mainly due to the fact that the true-to-life aspects of the unscripted plays reveal the openness of Nilkawtian law enforcement practices.  There are no police stations in Nilkawt.

The Thrown Room in the royal palace is currently the location of a major international financial conference.  The main themes today will include currency trading, popularity, fashion, hype, contractual agreements and con merchants, including the political sort.

There have often been concerns about the performances of the cabinet and government of Nilkawt, regardless of the venues or the players. 

The performances in the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught currently only involve the judges, with or without sufficient rehearsals.  The situation may occasionally require a Hike Kawt challenge to ensure the judges make the best use of their talents.

All Nilkawtians are meant to perform their practical duties and impractical ceremonies to the best of their individual and ensemble capabilities whenever required to do so.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Currency Trading

Just over a year ago, when the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review was first proposed, well-informed members of the global financial media expressed their private concerns, well-off-the-record, that there would, as a consequence, be economic shock waves and wild fluctuations on world stock markets into perpetuity.  Those finance journalists continue to mumbled to each other, and even to central bankers and market analysts over expensive dinners, that the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review could potentially lead to long-term, global economic instability.  They continue to express concern that the findings of the review will reverberating continuously through anarchic currency markets for decades to come.

The review, of course, began immediately, twelve months or so before today.  The head of the review, The Exceedingly Honourable The Marchioness of Passatempo, started her investigation processes by taking golfing lessons.  Although she did not make much progress with her golfing, her efforts at least gave her unprecedented access to the world's top financial players.

The marchioness is also a little known Nilkawtian drag king in her spare time.  She therefore has the skills with which to break down all sorts of barriers and glass ceilings, even in a golf buggy.

The marchioness know very well indeed that both finance and comedy involve calculated risks, much like sexual encounters and other forms of sport.  This is why, in her view, world politics and the global financial system are in such a mess.  There has been too much risk, not enough honesty and an obviously lack of empathy.

As all good commissioners and good comedians are well aware, risks require good insurance policies.  Good insurance, like all good relationships, will be there when all else fails.

Unfortunately, the lack of public trust in the insurance industry, and the lack of trust in the public by the insurance industry, has much in common with the finance industry more generally.  It also has much in common with elitist, authoritarian political systems, including the purportedly democratic ones.

The reason finance journalists have been so concerned about the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review is that the paper trails and digital footprints of the Bank of Nilkawt have taken the marchioness in all sorts of surprising and unsurprising directions.  The failure of journalists to uncover corporate criminals indicates their incompetence, or their collusion.  The marchioness has a large, currently confidential dossier of data on the matter requiring further extrapolation.

Correlations between influential individuals and their personal investments, personal relationships and professional relationships have been identified by the marchioness, through all the offshore and onshore legal firms of the world and not just those lax in their digital security.  The marchioness has also followed the financial trails not only of political party members and their financial backers but also of many major and minor officials.  It is surprising that the banks, land registries and immigration departments of various societies have not done the same, at least if they wish to have integrity.

Having now ensured that the Nilkawtian financial system has little dependence on the Australian financial system, having ousted the crony capitalists from the former predominant position, the marchioness has now turned her efforts to strengthening the Nilkawtian global currency.

It will probably not be long now before the Nilkawtian breath mark becomes the preferred global reserve currency.  This digital embassy itself may soon provide an ISO 4217 currency conversion service.

For anyone with sufficient funds to provide credibility to any sort of foreign exchange trading, all transactions through this embassy will require all conversions to be made through the Nilkawtian breath mark.  Advanced tourist bookings, business bookings, educational bookings, medical bookings and conference bookings for prospective visitors to Nilkawt must also be made through this embassy using the Nilkawtian breath mark.

As there are no inflationary or deflationary pressures in Nilkawt itself, there is a fixed exchange rate.  That rate is still currently pegged to the Australian dollar though the situation is obviously likely to change quite soon.

Should you wish to understand more about the Nilkawtian breath mark, please refer to the following:

1. Bookings for tours of the royal palace

2. Background information about the central Bank of Nilkawt

3. An introduction to the Treasury of Nilkawt

4. Further information about the Financial Services Review

5. The further industrial development of Nilkawt

6. Official biographical details of the marchioness

7. A brief overview of Nilkawtian state enterprises


Apart from the national Nilkawtian currency, there are the seven currencies of the counties in Nilkawt.  These certainly do fluctuate, not only against the breath mark but also against each other.

The County of State, also now known as Twaklinonia, contains the beautifully planned and implemented national capital, Twaklinton, at its centre.  The Bank of Nilkawt now has its beautiful headquarters in Twaklinton, too.  The county currency of Twaklinonia is the Twaklincom.

The Twaklincom system of payments is used on the public transport network not only in Twaklinonia but throughout Nilkawt.  The public transport network itself is currently called the Twaklink.

The Twaklincom system of payments is also used for the public health system throughout Nilkawt.  The public health system itself is currently called the Twaklinger.

Twakincom payments are absolutely necessary for the interconnected telecommunications, postal and delivery systems of Nilkawt, in order to maintain their reliability, integrity and security.  The highly advanced telecommunications system of Nilkawt is currently known as the Twalinode.

The postal and delivery services of Nilkawt are also connected with the public transport network and are therefore currently referred to as the Twaklinkup.

The other county currencies in Nilkawt, besides the Twaklincom, are currently the Austrooliana bananaroobull, the Backoutshire ovoleefrank, Cupateeunkaique teaspoondoolique, Dada dollarlar, Elegantshire shimmer and Foolya wonsortwyse.  County currency trading is mostly conducted in public during weekends and in private during evenings and public holidays. 

The breath mark must be used in all transactions between county currencies to ensure stability of the system.  Severe penalties are in place to prevent breaches.

The same does not apply for the thousands of community currencies operating in Nilkawt.  Even so, all official and unofficial Nilkawtian county and community currencies, including official and unofficial bartering systems, must now be registered with the Nilkawtian Financial Authority.  Registration is free of charge though significant fines can apply for non-registered transaction processes.

Private bartering systems within households do not usually need to be registered, except when there are arguments about housework and simple repairs.  Private bartering within other organisations will only need to be registered if there would otherwise be workplace unfairness.

It is not yet known if the Nilkawtian breath mark should have ISO 4217 registration beginning with an N or and X.  As the most worthy reserve currency in the world, the breath mark is currently pegged to a rare commodity.  This ensures its credit line is always clean of all forms of laundering.

The rare commodity, namely clean and beautifully fresh water, is the most precious resource in Nilkawt.  Its reserves, known colloquially as the pond, and officially as the pond stirring, are not for selling or for sailing.

The clean water reserves deserve to be kept safe for future Nilkawtians to enjoy, hence they are the true future fund of Nilkawtian society.  Those reserves, and society itself, therefore require the support of clean air and a clean currency and a clean political system.  The marchioness is doing her best to ensure that occurs.  It is always necessary to maintain standards.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

International Conference on Global Finance

On Thursday and Friday of this week, an international conference on global finance will take place in the Thrown Room of Palazzo Twaklinilkawt in Twaklinton.  Delegates are already gathering in the royal palace gardens and in the luxurious holiday accommodation in the palace grounds.

Several of the more intelligent delegates will be continuing onwards to another conference soon after the coming one finishes.  At the conference in the palace this week, the delegates, all of whom happen to be citizens of Australia, will be hoping to learn about the stability of the Nilkawtian currency and its importance in the global economy.

It is fortunate indeed that the current, official global financial system excludes Nilkawt entirely.  This means that the Nilkawtians have been able to maintain the impeccable integrity of their own financial services, at least when compared with all the other national economies and international dealings.

The current international monetary system, which is not a system at all, has been undermined by abusive lending practices.  The international insurance system has been undermined by the unfair clauses and other abuses, including practically useless policies.

Over recent months, the Nilkawtians have managed to oust the crony capitalists who had long had a strong, self-serving grip, including a strong golf grip, on Nilkawtian finances.  There has been great rejoicing in the streets of Twaklinton.

The crony capitalists wanted to bring financial integration to the Nilkawtians, in the name of economic liberalisation.  Fortunately, the people of Nilkawt are well aware that, in reality, that means selling everything to the highest bidder, regardless of the consequences.  They wanted none of that.

Most economic activities in Nilkawt are, most fortunately, neither run by the government nor run by greedy profiteers.  There is no online banking in Nilkawt.  There are no electronic trading facilities in Nilkawt.

Strict regulations and monitoring systems are in place throughout Nilkawt, including at its borders.  All financial institutions, including non-banking ones, are required to obtain highly restrictive licensing.   This is to ensure good financial hygiene can be maintained to prevent financial contagion.

The fact that most activities in Nilkawt are non-government and non-corporate means that Nilkawtian capital is used mainly for crowdfunding, most usually through the activities of the Parliament of Nilkawt.

Capital markets, financial services, financial markets and the prevention of insolvency, especially a sovereign default in Australia, will be discussed at the forthcoming conference.

The strengthening of Nilkawt's reputation as the producer of the world's most beautiful, most durable and most energy efficient household goods will also be examined.  This will most likely take place on an exclusive tour through the kitchen and laundry areas of Palazzo Twaklinilkawt.

As most consumables in Nilkawt are skillfully handcrafted, except for the stocks used in emergencies, all Nilkawtians are aware of the practical activities necessary in times of crisis.  Nilkawtians would never be willing to relinquish their sovereignty, including their monetary sovereignty.

There are many strategies already in place in Nilkawt to prevent a bank run, or any other banking crisis.  Bartering is well developed in Nilkawt, to prevent any sort of currency crisis.  In addition, complementary currencies exist at both the county and community levels.  This means that few areas of the Nilkawtian economy, if any, are likely to experience a liquidity crisis.

As there is no stock market in Nilkawt, there cannot be a stock market crash in Nilkawt.  Individual Nilkawtians are known to have non-Nikawtian investments, but that is their own problem.

The Nilkawtian economy is carefully managed to ensure economic bubbles and other potential financial crises do not occur.

Monday, 25 April 2016

State Enterprises

Encouraging the population to be usefully creative is difficult in any society.  The state enterprises of Nilkawt therefore exist primarily to provide peaceful opportunities for Nilkawtians to become either enlightened servants of art or artistic servants of enlightenment.

A secondary reason for the state enterprises of Nilkawt to exist is to encourage wealthy persons in other societies to invest in something more useful than their own egocentricity.  In much of the world, state enterprises exist primarily to assist persons at the top of political and workplace hierarchies to siphon off funds for their own benefit.  Even the awarding of contracts is a way for most state enterprises elsewhere to concentrate wealth into the hands of the most dominant contractors.

There is no stock market in Nilkawt, mostly because public companies, all around the world, have a propensity to concentrate wealth into the hands of a few, too.  For similar reasons, there are no casinos or other gambling facilities in Nilkawt.

As a free society, there is nothing to stop Nilkawtians from investing their money elsewhere in the world, if they so choose.  Nilkawtians are, however, expected to ensure all their foreign investments are registered with the Nilkawtian Financial Authority.  For this reason, Nilkawt has a Fair Share Registry.  All foreign investments and foreign earnings of Nilkawtians are documented in that register.

All foreign income received by Nilkawtians is taxed annually within Nilkawt at 10% for peaceful investments and 250% for non-peaceful investments.  The Nilkawtian Fair Share Registry therefore enables the Nilkawtian Financial Authority to identify which Nilkawtians are competent international investors and which Nilkawtians have little idea about the structure of a peaceful global economy.

The competent investors are usually invited to participate on the boards of Nilkawtian state enterprises.  The incompetent investors are encouraged to invest their money more wisely, namely in Nilkawt itself.

To participate in a Nilkawtian state enterprise as an employee is a high honour, especially as those state enterprises have very few employees.  The best of those employees are also likely to receive national honours at some time in the future. 

To ensure quality, however, please note that there are no longer any official subcontractors in Nilkawt.

Board members of Nilkawtian state enterprises are considered to be casual employees.  They are therefore paid a minimum hourly wage, in keeping with their unproven, long-term abilities.

Throughout Nilkawt, in any sort of enterprise, regardless of the form or style of employment, all employees and contractors, and even the unofficial subcontractors, are expected to uphold the same enlightened workplace standards.  This applies not only in Nilkawt itself but also when representing Nilkawt elsewhere.  It is especially the case when working through a Nilkawtian state enterprise.

Nilkawtians will not accept sexism or racism or jingoism or any other bad habits.  They will not tolerate the imposition of tastes or viewpoints not in accordance with societal harmony. This is why all Nilkawtians are encouraged to avoid investing in military enterprises and other non-peaceful pursuits.

As Nilkawt has never fought any wars, it does not have any war memorials.  Nilkawt does, however, have the Constitutional Shrine of True Tolerance, also known as the Shrine of Independence. 

The maintenance of the Constitutional Shrine of True Tolerance is a state enterprise.  The upkeep of all other Nilkawtian public monument and the running of major Nilkawtian tourism facilities is a state enterprise, including the maintenance and running of the royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt.

Nilkawtian state enterprises provide model examples of entrepreneurship for other enterprising individuals and societies to follow.  Yet entrepreneurship is about beginning new projects.  It is not about sustaining them or necessarily making them profitable.

The Nilkawtian Financial Authority runs the Nilkawtian Intellectual Property Trust (NIPT) as well as the Nilkawtian Fair Share Registry (NFRS) and the Local Government Administration Service (LGAS).

The board of the Nilkawtian Financial Authority consists primarily of highly assertive and consistently insistent legal practitioners rather than financial experts.  The Nilkawtian Financial Authority is one of the main Nilkawtian state enterprises itself.

The entire banking system of Nilkawt is also a state enterprise.  It is now run by the Nilkawtian Financial Authority. 

Even the Twaklinian School of International and Constitutional Law and Peace (TSICLP) and the entire Nilkawtian Tendering System (NTS) have now become state enterprises.  They are also run by the Nilkawtian Financial Authority (NFA).

The Nilkawtian Financial Authority was established as one of the many recommendations of last year's Financial Services Review (FSR).  Another of the recommendations of the review has been for most of the other recommendations to remain private, to prevent unnecessary embarrassment.

According to the Nilkawtian Constitution, whatever people choose to do in complete privacy, either alone or in the presence of fully consenting adults, is a matter entirely of their own choosing.  Everyone is accountable for their own actions in Nilkawt, which is why there is a strict delineation between the public and the private throughout Nilkawtian society.

Public life in Nilkawt is very public indeed.  Private life is very private.  There is also much community life in Nilkawt, which is considerably more complicated than public life and private life. Private activities intruding into the community sphere are considered to be public pursuits.

Any private activities not as private as they should be in Nilkawt are subsequently recorded as substantial truth in The Nilkawtian Gazette, and in the The Nilkawtian Chronicles and in most, of not all, versions of The Local.  The media services of Nilkawt are themselves state enterprises, as is the collection of all official data. 

It is always necessary to ensure the accuracy of public information.


Data from July 2014


Learn about the entry requirements for visiting and/or investing well in Nilkawt

Discover more about the ethical standards continually upheld by the former Nilkawtian environment minister


Data from August 2014


Discover more about the earlier work of the former Nilkawtian minister for lawnless order

Learn more about the history of the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt (central bank)

Acquire further information about Nilkawtian citizenship

Find out how the Treasury of Nilkawt works

Read all about the media services for Nilkawt


Data from October 2014


Examine the work achieved by the former Nilkawtian Trade and Investment Commissioner

Find out about the work of the Independent Commissioners Against Corruption


Data from November 2014


Consider applying for a course through the Twaklinian School of International and Constitutional Law and Peace


Data from January 2015


Learn about the restoration of the Money Key


Data from March 2015


Test your understanding of Nilkawtian levels of government

Examine the evidence in relation to a Nilkawtian Hike Kawt Challenge 

Appreciate the NIlkawtian system of honours


Data from April 2015


Book an appointment with the Nilkawtian Minister for Education, Training and Interpersonal Niceties

Seek assistance from the Nilkawtian Minister for Housing

Become better acquainted with the Nilkawtian Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments

Learn about the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review

Discover the duties of the Nilkawtian Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade 

Find out about Nilkawtian Government revenues


Data from May 2015


Compare your own legal system with Nilkawtian Uncommon Law


Data June 2015


Reflect upon Nilkawtian neighbourhood relations


Data from July 2015


Examine the system of changing names, boundaries and titles in Nilkawt


Data from August 2015


Book a room in the Cell-Fee Building


Data from September 2015


Understand the system of Nilkawtian wealth distribution


Data from October 2015


Investigate the history of Nilkawtian tender processes

Contribute to the further industrial development of Nilkawt

Appreciate the extent of the Chancery additional official offices


Data from December 2015


Participate in at least one of the refreshingly responsible retreats in Nilkawt


Data from January 2016


Acquaint yourself with the traditional transitional arrangements

Pass on your knowledge on how to become a lady-in-waiting


Data from February 2016


Learn how to join The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers


Data from March 2016


Contribute to the economic development of Nilkawt


Data from April 2016


Enrol for a course at the Dada School of Management

Participate in open international relations

Register for seasonal work in Nilkawt


Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Open International Relations

Although honesty is rarely evident in international relations, much like public relations and human resources, the Nilkawtians are currently at the forefront of advanced research into the interactions between the three pursuits.  As so much dishonesty is known to take place in the international sphere, uncovering honesty is often a surprise.

As with international journalism and international tourism, and usually also international aid, the intentions of participants are rarely straightforward.  Whenever wealth and political influence are involved, there are plenty of examples of front organisations

There are many strange reasons why false flag activities and other covert operations occur.  Most make no sense at all to the true advocates of world peace, global prosperity and artistic freedom. 

The Nilkawtians have an extensive global network of undercover agents, as well as many official, very nicely dressed diplomats, special envoys and commissioners.  As all Nilkawtians will know, even when sitting around enjoying an overseas holiday at their own expense, foreign affairs means many different things to many different people.

Participants in purportedly clandestine activities, from any member entity of the United Nations, usually have a tendency to overindulge in the benefits of expense accounts, whether at the expense of the tax system of their own country or that of another.

One of the reasons for the Ethereal Grand Duchy of Nilkawt to uphold strict visa regulations, for all potential visitors, is to prevent espionage within Nilkawtian territory.  That is why careful due diligence activities are pursued by Nilkawt's always polite, compassionate and reasonably helpful covert operatives, well before each visa is issued.

At the Nilkawtian border, each visa holder is required to sign a non-disclosure agreement in relation to the proposed visit, to ensure no-one will divulge anything about life in Nilkawt without official permission.  Matters of confidentiality are strictly enforced by the Nilkawtians, at least whenever the Nilkawtian national interest is concerned.

The Nilkawtian military aim is not only to have no military, and no need for a military, but also to stop anyone aiming anything rudely or potentially dangerously at anyone else.  World peace is the primary goal of the Nilkawtian international relations.

The Nilkawtian economic aim is to increase Nilkawtian prosperity and then share that prosperity with the rest of the world.  The Ethereal Grand Duchy of Nilkawt is already sharing its prosperity through the global provision of freely accessible online education.  This digital embassy is itself an example of that pursuit.

The Nilkawtian cultural aim is to ensure the global public understands the difference between the factual universe and all the fictional universes promoted by public relations teams and human resources professionals, as well as by politicians, foreign policy officials and tabloid journalists, of course. 

In addition, the Nilkawtians promote the necessity for all intelligent citizens, in any united or non-united nation, to practice peaceful counterintelligence against their own and other governments whenever the democratic need arises.

The Nilkawtian Government is well aware that the world's loudest democracy is a potential dictatorship.  Nilkawtian undercover operatives have seen all the classified documents relating to the Gulf of Tonkin incident, the top secret Gulf St Vincent incident and the not-so-secret Global Golfing incident. 

They have also examined all the official and unofficial data on the Boundless Fibbing incident, the Crashed and Cashed Rollback incident and the Continual Takeover incident.  For many years, they have recorded various black projects at black sites, including those in Australia.  They have obviously, in addition, gathered significantly revealing data from offshore financial centres, offshore and onshore immigration detention centres and offshore and onshore oil and gas exploration projects, secretive mining operations and nuclear facilities.

Many writings associated with the Nilkawtians have several meanings, including coded meanings.  Most of those codes are trade secrets.


An introductory overview of Nilkawt in the international sphere


Ambassador to the Digital Sphere and Head of Protocol to the Government of Nilkawt

Introduction to the former Minister of Communications

The Rule of Law

Minister for Housing

Royal Duties

Certification of Credibility

Foreign Policy Agenda


Just a few examples of coded discussions in the international sphere


The art of conversation

Courteous introductions

Expressing beauty, understanding and magnificence

Returning to Adelaide

Twaklinesque Literary Society for the Second Age of Enlightenment

Ideas are brewing

How to manage difficult relationships

Arts in the parlour


A few examples of semi-coded messages in the international sphere


Economy for sale

Values in Australian politics

Felicitation and facilitation

How are you, my dear enlightened being?

An enlightened examination of newsworthiness

Priorities, patrons, entitlements and incompatible cultures

A private celebration with friends


Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Seasonal Work

One of the reasons why so many Nilkawtians have several forms of employment is that most work in Nilkawt is seasonal.  The people of Nilkawt, whether as citizens or residents, are encouraged to live in accordance with the seasons whenever appropriate to do so.  Seasonal work provides temporary jobs, at least when considered in terms of months rather than years.

In Nilkawt, work is considered over a twenty-five year schedule, rather than a monthly or annual or multi-year plan.  There is some work that will always need to be done, at one time or another, regardless of other economic and demographic factors.

All Nilkawtians contribute to keeping their national accounts impeccably clear and accurate.  The accounting methods of the Enlightened Nations are preferred over those of the United Nations.

Tourists are not permitted to work for money in Nilkawt.  They may officially volunteer in supervised job placements, subject to availability.

Voluntary opportunities also depend on the ability of the tourists to pay for their own training, supervision, accommodation, food, transportation and insurance.  They are also required, in such circumstances, to wear the special foreign-volunteer uniform.  All items for that uniform must also be purchased at each volunteer's own expense, along with the required boots, shoes and slippers.

All voluntary opportunities in Nilkawt are seasonal and reasonable, to ensure exploitation does not occur.  This means that volunteers are never considered to be foreign workers.

Foreign students, whether taking the opportunity to participate in formal volunteering opportunities or not, will find there are many other ways to experience formal Nilkawtian education and training opportunities.  Students will not be considered to be foreign workers unless and until they acquire the correct visa.

In most circumstances, foreign students in Nilkawt are considered to be tourists.  It is only after they become eligible to receive a PNRV that their foreign worker status will be acknowledged.  Even then, students will be required to pay the migrant worker level of taxation, which is substantially higher than that of Nilkawtian citizens.  The migrant tax rate is, however, at a lower level than all the tourist taxes.

As all work available to students in Nilkawt is likely to be seasonal, otherwise they would not have the time to keep up with their studies, a PNRV visa is difficult for any student to obtain until completing their studies satisfactorily.

Foreign tourists, foreign students and foreign business persons are all considered to require the same categories of visas to visit Nilkawt, namely a visitor's visa.  The Nilkawtians usually attempt to keep their foreign dealings as simple as possible.  Foreigners are, after all, usually rather simple people until they have received all the generous guidance the Nilkawtians supply to the world through this digital embassy.

As business persons representing foreign businesses are likely to consider themselves to be expatriates after more than a few weeks in Nilkawt, financial and legislative measures are in place to ensure they do not overstay their welcome.  Most foreign business persons are therefore only permitted to stay in Nilkawt for a maximum of one season.  This is the case even after spending several prior seasons in Nilkawt as a tourist and/or student.

Business taxes for foreign activities in Nilkawt are high by international standards, mainly because Nilkawt is such a nice, trustworthy place in which to do business.  The Government of Nilkawt itself is a seasonally-adjusted activity, just as it is in most societies.   All persons involved in the Government of Nilkawt, whether as ministers or members of staff, consider their work to be seasonal, and even temporary.

If you are seeking work in Nilkawt, please do your best to understand the job situation before applying.


Further reasonable, seasonal information about Nilkawt


Royal palace tour

Traditions

Public holidays

Social season

Chief Secretary of Communications

Compassion in Cupateeunkaique

Convocations of the Pretty Council


Monday, 18 April 2016

Planned Communities and Model Villages

All Nilkawtians live in extraordinarily well-planned communities, many of which are beautifully situated, well-designed model villages.  These are made possible by the fact that the levels of government in Nilkawt are strictly delineated.

Clustered, geographical dispersion is a highly developed technique of sustainability in Nilkawt.  It is based on the practical implementation of all necessary factors related to human ecology whilst keeping statistical dispersion within acceptable limits.

In most societies, urbanisation is a centralising phenomenon.  In Nilkawt, the opposite occurs.  Nilkawtian villages are not for fringe dwellers.  They are sophisticated, urban settlements, with all the best features of urban villages and garden cities but without urban sprawl or high-density living.

All policies in Nilkawt, at all levels of government, are devoted to the pursuit of healthy, joyful longevity.  Planning and training in Nilkawt therefore incorporates the essential cultural and environmental features of blue zones.

Thriving communities require population stability and social harmony.  Those communities consist mainly of highly educated, practically-minded residents who work philanthropically within those communities, contributing to local prosperity and interpersonal contentment.  Psychological tranquility and statistical centrality are the measures by which prosperity is judged in Nilkawt.

The conservation zones around each community most usually include interconnecting spirals of biodiversity instead of linear wildlife corridors.  These can be easily managed from each village, like the farmlands and orchards and water sources.

At any time of the year, most Nilkawtians will have at least four occupations, and possibly even six or more.  Even so, all Nilkawtians are also encouraged to use their spare time for creative pursuits.  The least imaginative Nilkawtians are therefore required to have more free time than most other colleagues and neighbours.

In many areas of the world, young people have a tendency to leave rural areas and other regions with limited economic opportunities.  This seems to suggest that the value of those individuals, as economic contributors in their place of origin, is limited to the importation of funds from elsewhere.  This is only the case if they do, indeed, send funds for the benefit of their remaining family members.

Young people, in many areas of the world, also move from rural to urban areas for their further education.   There are no relatively young people at all in Nilkawt at present.  This digital embassy provides all the information any young person may need in order to learn about life in Nilkawt. 

All new residents and citizens in Nilkawt are mature migrants from Australia.  Unlike Australia itself, Nilkawt has no overurbanisation.   There is no urban decay in Nilkawt, either, or at least not for long.  There are always opportunities to transform declining standards into something better, without destroying cultural heritage in the process.

The Nilkawtians have found that when people are happy in their work, and in their lives more generally, they are happy to continue working, whenever they are physically and mentally able to do so.  Pensions are almost unknown in Nilkawt.  Holidays are frequent.  Leisure time is usefully used.

The Nilkawtians know that reducing unfairness in society is the best way to tackle corruption.  Population decline and overpopulation only happen in badly run communities and societies.

Whenever a reasonable opportunity to do so arises, the Gini coefficient of Nilkawt is efficiently moved towards zero.  Income inequality is diminished in Nilkawt through a variety of strategies, none of which reduce societal prosperity.

As a wealthy and enlightened society, Nilkawt obviously has a very high level of human development.  All Nilkawtian citizens and residents have a right to enjoy that development as equally as possible

There is no bullying tolerated in Nilkawt.  There are no crude jokes tolerated in Nilkawt.  In accordance with its wide-ranging policy of stability, Nilkawt supports a stable population without natalistic tendencies.  There are always more than enough tourists and other temporary visitors, as well as plenty of temporary residents, to balance any natural and temporary declines in the permanent population.

No society should be worried about sub-replacement fertility, at least if it is a nice society in which sensible persons would wish to live.  Bringing up children and adolescents properly appears to be too difficult for most societies to achieve, whether they have too many children at any given moment or they have declining or ageing populations.

Poor quality childhoods are one of the main reasons why so many unacceptable persons are turned away at the borders of Nilkawt each year.  A good education and sufficient nutrition are required throughout life, without exceptions.  Proper processes should be in place to prevent and reduce traumatic experiences and provide comfort and remediation whenever trauma has occurred.

This embassy exists to inform the world about all aspects of Nilkawtian life.  It does not exist to provide an open invitation for all and sundry to experience that way of life without the necessary, prerequisite qualifications. 

Even potential tourists are expected to have acquired a sufficient education and attained a reasonable level of mental well-being before applying for visas.  Nilkawtians have a right to reduce all unnecessary disruptions to their daily routines.  All social vulnerabilities are humanely reduced in Nilkawt.

Children are often expensive to keep and to teach and to manage, which is why children are strictly forbidden from entering any areas of Nilkawt.  They would be an unacceptable burden on society.

Whenever there are waiting lists for services in Nilkawt, as well as when there are waiting lists for services through this embassy, priority is always given to older persons before younger ones.  The reasoning is that older persons have already waited longer for the best experiences in life and are therefore more deserving.

The most recent demographic transition, in the current territory occupied by the Ethereal Grand Duchy of Nilkawt, took place in 1839.   In that year, a drought caused all the broadacre crops and most of the grazing animals to die. 

All the people left, except for a few older individuals.  The older residents did not want the upheaval and uncertainty of moving.  They therefore decided to conserve their energy and their remaining water supplies and live on the remaining products from their gardens and store cupboards, supplemented by the edible native plants and animals in the local conservation areas. 

They survived as they had done in previous droughts but the younger populations had never experienced such a difficult situation before.  They had never developed a reasonable understanding of history.

The young often want to go where they think a more comfortable life will be possible.  This has a tendency to make them impatient, over-confident, discourteous, acquisitive and somewhat lazy.  In view of this, Nilkawt has found the fairest way to decrease its dependency ratio.  It has, consequentially, also managed to avoid the sleaziness prevalent in many societies.

There is unlikely ever to be a pensions crisis in Nilkawt.  Preventing most people from being eligible for pensions in the first place is a good idea for any society wishing to have a responsible citizenship.  Having properly planned communities provides the key, especially with model villages designed to meet the long-term needs and challenges often faced by older citizens.

In Nilkawt, the ageing of the population is carefully studied in a partnership arrangement between all citizens. The demographic transition underway in Nilkawt appears to suggest that the median age is likely to rise from a current 55 years to 58 years by 2025.  This correlates with all the healthy ageing measures now in place.

In acknowledgement of past difficulties, all households and all communities in Nilkawt have multiple water conservation measures.  There are numerous beautiful water tanks and technologically and biologically enhanced strategies for recycling greywater.  Evaporation is reduced through the use of mulches and shading.

All  Nilkawtian citizens, of any age, are encouraged to drink a small glass of fresh, pure, slightly chilled water at half-hourly intervals during daylight hours, even if not requiring medication.  Societal collapse is less likely to occur when the fluidity of society is adequately replenished.

The demographic window in Nilkawt is always open. This is how it will ensure it never experiences economic collapse.  Nor will Nilkawt ever become subject to demographic threats.

All the necessary variables are factored into the political analysis of demography in Nilkawt, before, during and after communities and villages are planned. 


Further reading about Nilkawt


Citizenship

Levels of government

Minister for Housing

Minister for Science, Arts and Enlightenment

Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade

Neighbourhood relations

Office of Statistical Enlightenment

Wealth distribution

Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering

Convocations of the Pretty Council

Monday, 11 April 2016

Dada School of Management

Anyone seeking a non-traditional approach to successful management practices would be well advised to register that interest as soon as possible through the Dada School of Management.

Places on the exciting and innovative courses are strictly limited and usually fully booked.  This especially applies when those courses are to be held in Dada itself or in Twaklinton or Elegantshire or Boston or New York or Zurich or London or Berlin or Vienna or Panama or Jersey or Singapore or Hong Kong or Davos or Tokyo or the British Virgin Islands or the Cayman Islands or Sydney or Melbourne or Adelaide, or in a magnificent schloss overlooking the Rhine or in a grand baronial castle above a Scottish loch or in an elegant chรขteau surrounded by formal gardens and French vineyards, or in a beautiful villa overlooking Lake Como or Lake Garda or Lake Maggiore or Lake Lucerne or Lake Geneva or Lake Torrens or in a glorious palace on the Grand Canal in Venice or in Copenhagen or Salzburg or in a old campervan not far from the Lake Boga or the South Alligator River or Lake Argyle.

Places are occasionally available when the courses are held in one of the bland civic centres in Austrooliana or on a beach near Whyalla or in a tent in a heatwave near Mootwingee or in a small fishing boat on the choppy sea near Bermagui or in a telephone exchange in Warrnanbool or whilst lying in a swag near Mundrabilla or Kunanurra or Karumba or Borroloola or in an abandoned shopping mall in Detroit or whilst sitting under a piece of corrugated iron during a cyclone in Tonga or under a plastic tarpaulin in the snow at Calais or next to a pile of smelly rubbish in Naples or straddling the demarcation line in Cyprus or on a random doorstep in Corfu or in a crowded pub in Cork or on the promenade at Aberystwyth during a gale or outside a bank in Reykjavik or in a supermarket carpark in Stoke-on-Trent or at a service station in Swindon or just inside the door of a discount store in Scunthorpe or in an all-you-can-eat diner on the outskirts of Las Vegas or whilst registering a company in Luxembourg or whilst meeting an international tax adviser in the Isle of Man or Delaware or the Cook Islands or Monaco.

Prices start from $120,000 US for the one day course.  Please quadruple the amount if you require an extra day of training.  To secure your place in the place of your choice, within the limits of your budget and citizenship, it is recommended that you book your place, and know your place, at least three years in advance.

The Dada School of Management is a world renowned institution, famous for its many imaginative styles of presentation.  Courses are presented in plain English, with none of the usual business jargon, except during role plays.

Regardless of the climatic or political conditions at the time and place of enrolment, all students are expected to comply with the exclusive dress code, as well as the superficial code of ethics of the school.

The most popular course is the highly intensive and highly inventive Profitable Advanced Yearnings (PAY).  No-one has yet been able to enrol on it for only $120,000 US.  This is as a consequence of all the additional fees and charges required.

If your passport is linked to a non-democracy and/or to an offshore financial centre and/or tax haven, please expect to pay considerably more than the minimum.

If you wish to pay for a course other than through the Bank of Nilkawt, additional fees apply.  All payments must be received at least two years in advance of the first lesson.  There are no exceptions.

PAY students will learn how to dismiss employees efficiently, send subcontractors bankrupt as quickly as possible and buy out and shut down all likely competition, including political competition.  All tutorials will be presented by highly sophisticated Nilkawtian robots.  Credit card facilities are available in the mouths of each device if feedback on assessments is required.

Do not ask for extensions or time off for reasons or ill-health, injury or tragedy.   This will not be permitted.

Time off for holidays will be permitted, in accordance with the relevant schedule of costs, as will an hour or two to sit on a corporate board or to reprimand a world leader.


Prospective students should begin the introductory readings immediately:

1. Finding a suitable defence minister to protect your assets

2. What to do about unwanted pests

3. Keeping up with the exclusiveness of prestige

4. An insightful introduction to fine dining

5. The personal benefits of philanthropy

6. Identifying suitable locations for your business

7. Making rules and regulations work for you

8. Essential features of an excellent economy

9. Dealing with elections and other inconveniences

10. Writing your own version of history

11. Making sure poorer people pay tax instead of you

12. Strategies for expanding your property portfolio

13. Protecting your intellectual property

14. Moving successfully into new markets

15. Avoiding potential dangers

16. Succeeding within and beyond limits

17. The best investment opportunities

18. Understanding different demographics

19. How to deal with conflicts

20. Delegating all the administration

21. The truth about tenders

22. Choosing the right office for you

23. Maintaining secrecy

24. Suitable business accommodation

25. Gender equality

26. Avoiding unnecessary complexity

27. Borders, free trade and other contradictions

28. Making the most of economic development

29. Contributing to global prosperity

30. Making suitable comparisons