Monday, 31 October 2016

Tax Revenue

Nilkawt has the most enlightened taxation revenue system in the world.  It has the most sublime financial system.  It has the most thorough and systematic systems of review.

The taxation raised by the Nilkawtians is used mainly for scientific purposes.  The scientific systems in Nilkawt are themselves amongst the most systematic in the world.

The entry requirements for Nilkawt are themselves gradually becoming more systematic and scientific.  This will hopefully ensure greater clarity regarding the characteristics deemed to be acceptable of all visitors and potential citizens.  The fees and charges associated with visas are considerable, due to the fact that they are meant to offset tax revenues.

There has been much speculation as to whether the Nilkawtian Treasury will be reformed, modified, adapted, improved or restructured in the months ahead.  As in most societies, the Treasury of Nilkawt is currently a somewhat mysterious and undemocratic institution, much like the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt.

The Treasury of Nilkawt is meant to balance everything beautifully, including its books.  Whether this involves having a head for figures, or a figurehead, or a head for heights, or the ability to balance a book on the head of an accountant, or an auditor or corporate lawyer, will always depend on the arithmetical evidence.

In any society, demographic matters are more intertwined with financial matters than democratic matters. This is clearly demonstrated through the revenue raising capabilities of the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt.  All financial transactions in Nilkawt are currently taxed at 2% for internal transactions and 10% for transactions out of Nilkawt into the global financial system.

There are no taxes on money brought into Nilkawt though please note that there are no gambling facilities in Nilkawt, apart from the State Lottery for All the Talents.  Anyone caught gambling unofficially in Nilkawt, or speculating greedily in other ways, is fined in accordance with the debt-to-income ratio of the perpetrator.

Amongst other vital and confidential information, all persons seeking entry to Nilkawt are required to state, on their application form, the following:

a) Median personal income for the past twelve years, taking account of inflation/deflation and converting the amount to Australian dollars, as required.

b) Median household income for the past twenty-five years, with the figure calculated as in (a) above.

c) Current net personal worth including all real estate, art collections, shoe collections, antiques, motor vehicles, yachts, aircraft, investment portfolios, cash, jewels, bullion, royalties and fashion labels.

d) Current net worth of any likely inheritances.

e) Total expenditure by parent(s) and/or guardians/benefactors on your education and upbringing from birth to the age of twenty-five.  Please supply the figure in today's terms, as in (a) and (b) above.

f) Name, business address, home address and date of birth of usual accountant.

Although financial matters are rarely viewed elsewhere in the world in a systematically scientific way, nor are matters relating the citizenship.  This is why there are so many muddles and messes in the world.

The Nilkawtians have long had an enlightened and systematic approach to supplying members of the public with citizenship.  In line with social and psychological realities, the Criteria of Acceptance will most likely become tightened further over the coming months and years.

There are many costs involved with managing populations in fair, efficient and effective ways.  The purpose of the management is to supply citizens with a fair, efficient and effective society capable of upholding their peace, their health and their prosperity.

The populations may be animal or vegetable or bacterial or viral or fungal.  Breaching quarantine regulations is a matter on a par with attempted murder in Nilkawt.  It will therefore not be tolerated even slightly.

With a highly systematic and extraordinarily fair system of permits, licences, fines, fees, charges, levies, duties, rates and invoices, the Government of Nilkawt finds it unnecessary to tax most Nilkawtian citizens heavily.

Monday, 24 October 2016

Outreach Services of the Perpetual Wait

The Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait has its main training headquarters in the secluded Abbey of Needle's Eye.  The abbey is difficult to reach.  Like the rest of Nilkawt, it does not have an Internet service or a telephone connection to the outside world.

Unlike the rest of Nilkawt, the abbey has no connection to the national Intranet service.  Nor does it have any connections to any local area mobile telephone networks.

The abbey is situated in one of the most remote regions of Nilkawt, ensuring its seclusion but not necessarily its secularity.  To ensure its secularity is maintained, the Order of the Perpetual Wait is legislatively required to provide outreach services to all and sundry.  It does so not from the abbey itself but from its additional, much more temporary and temporal educational establishments.

Nilkawt is renowned across the globe for its educational and outreach services, whether by secular orders, international training centres, highly competent staff or infallible automatons.  Any envelopes or packages or postcards addressed to the abbey are redirected to the Secular Establishment of the Perpetual Wait in the capital, Twaklinton.

As a highly advanced, highly educated, calm, reasonable, rational and sensible sort of society, Nilkawt has a deep respect for evidence-based knowledge.  All seclusion therefore serves a similar personal, interpersonal and societal usefulness as all other forms of Nilkawtian learning.

Since a former abbess of Needle's Eye served a term as a Nilkawtian government minister, the educational work within the abbey itself has become better known in the outside world.  The former Department of Immigration and Broader Inspection has now become a considerably automated service.  This means that its former staff can now spend their time doing less tedious and less frustrating work.

In Nilkawt, as in many societies, there is a perpetual wait for redundancy packages.  In view of this, all Nilkawtians are now required to begin retraining for new work as soon as they become bored or frustrated in their existing occupations.  They have the option of reducing the hours in their occupations until completing the retraining on a part-time basis, or giving in their notice and completing the retraining on a full-time basis.

The first five hundred hours of retraining are currently supplied solely through the outreach services of the Perpetual Wait.  The first one hundred hours examine why the trainee has been doing a soul-less occupation.

Every job in Nilkawt is meant to be interesting, uplifting and intrinsically rewarding for the occupant, hence psychological, sociological and philosophical assessments of the trainee are integral to the early training process.  Every job in Nilkawt has been designed to be clean, tidy and practical, within reason.

If you are wondering how to become a Lady-in-Waiting to the Nilkawtian Head of State, the highly democratic process begins through the outreach services of the Perpetual Wait.  All members of the Order of the Perpetual Wait involved in supplying the outreach services are highly trained in psychology, sociology and philosophy, amongst other subjects.

No other persons are eligible to supply outreach services within Nilkawt. Even so, all Nilkawtians are expected to supply outreach services to the rest of the world, with or without all the necessary training.

Training in global outreach and peaceful advocacy can easily be acquired throughout the county of Cupateeunkaique.  It is a location in which affectionate co-operation and practical altruism are noticeably prevalent.  That is why the services of the Perpetual Wait are not required within Cupateeunkaique itself.

To maintain the pleasantness of Cupateeunkaique, and all other pleasant areas of Nilkawt, the local government administration of each Nilkawtian county is responsible for determining the local necessity for local outreach services.  As ceremonial local representatives of the Head of State, the relevant Heads of Counties, such as the Countess of Cupateeunkaique, provide the ceremonial authority for opening and closing and beginning and ending anything officially associated with the governing bodies of Nilkawt.

The Countess of Cupateeunkaique, who is herself a former member of the Order of the Perpetual Wait and a former Lady-in-Waiting, has been conducting an international investigation into outreach services through her duties on behalf of the Nilkawtian Political Reform Commission.  The world is, apparently, still not aware that Nilkawt is, at least for the present, the most enlightened and most democratic and most peaceful and most prosperous society ever to have existed.

The constitutional duties of the Nilkawtian Head of State are always performed with the utmost dignity.  Everyone in Nilkawt is required to perform their own duties with the utmost dignity too, even when bored, annoyed, frustrated or otherwise irritable.  

Credibility is so much easier to maintain with dignity, regardless of the accuracy of the information supplied or the competence of the supplier.  It is fortunate indeed, therefore, that the Nilkawtian Head of State is also highly competent.

As the Ethereal Patroness of the Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait, Her Illustrious Highness is the sole authority with the right to grant members of the Order with permission to leave the confines of their cloister on a temporary or permanent basis.  

Permission has only been granted, in the past, for a sister to leave the Abbey of Needle's Eye temporarily for one of the following reasons:

To take up temporary ministerial duties in the Goverment of Nilkawt, and/or

To provide temporary outreach services in Nilkawt and/or in the international sphere

Permission has only been granted to leave the abbey permanently:

To became a Lady-in-Waiting to Her Illustrious Highness, or

To explore the possibility of voluntarily developing non-asexual relationships

All serving members of the Order are always non-sexual in their dealings with everyone.  They are permitted to develop affectionate attachments of asexual intimacy, but only in private.  The same applies to Ladies-in-Waiting, who are required to maintain many of the same habits as the sisters but with a more extensive wardrobe and prettier footwear.

No-one with voluntary experience of non-asexual relationships is permitted to participate intimately in the supply of outreach activities through the Order.  To seek non-asexual relationships through the provision of outreach services is against the rules of the Order.

When any of the sisters reaches out her hand through her outreach activities, no-one could accuse her of having ulterior motives, no matter how much she flutters her eyelashes or how prettily she smiles.  She is likely to express emotional warmth whilst holding someone's hand or giving a person a hug or wiping away someone's tears, but this is always achieved silently.  The silence provides the necessary level of dignity, decorum and professional detachment.

Several sisters are currently providing outreach services through the Sublime Secretariat in Palazzo Twaklinilkawt.  Much of the routine work of the secretariat is now performed by a royal robot and three noble automatons.  There is nothing routine about the supply of outreach services, hence they can only be successfully performed by ordinary mortal humans and other living species.

Ethereal persons in the Ethereal Grand Duchy of Nilkawt, or anywhere else in the world, as well as corporate persons and various founts of honour, cannot provide the care required, except through fiction and works of history.  To provide an outreach service is a highly noble and highly spiritual pursuit, as long as it does not annoy either the providers or those being served.

As the outreach services of the Perpetual Wait are non-traditional, non-static and non-state-based, and they are never advertised, they are only usually communicated on a person-to-person basis.  The services may sometimes feature in media reports but usually only when the sisters are seeking the mutual support of the public.

The sisters believe most marketing is predatory and should be avoided by all good persons.  This applies both in terms of its supply and its receipt.  Similar beliefs are shared by most Nilkawtians.

Just as Nilkawt has many laws against trespassers and other nuisances, Nilkawtians would never intentionally trespass on anyone elsewhere or make a nuisance of themselves in other ways.  Nilkawt has many intentional communities, settlements and residential care institutions where professional services of the highest quality are available on a permanent basis.

Philanthropy in Nilkawt is particularly common in Cupateeunkaique, even during non-festive times.  In that location, the philanthropy is often associated with altruism, empathy and kindness.

In Foolya, on the other hand, philanthropy is associated mainly with the arts.

In Twaklinton, philanthropy is mainly associated with food and drink, tourism and other forms of hospitality, relaxation and celebration.

In Elegantshire, there is little philanthropy.  This is mostly due to the fact that the people living there, or even staying there temporarily, are expected to pay for professional services using their own substantial wealth for such purposes.  they are also expected to pay for all the other goods and services they require.  If the residents of Elegantshire wish to be philanthropists, they usually do so by donating sums of their own choosing to whatever they personally consider to be worthy causes.

In Dada, philanthropy is usually expressed through satire.

In Backoutshire, there is very little philanthropy as that is where most of the business of Nilkawt is based.  Backoutshire is the location of Matildaville, the former capital.  It is also the location of Arthurity, a much earlier seat of government.

Matildaville was the location of the long discredited and long disbanded Matildan School of Physical Education, Legal Traditions and Unjustifiable Wealth Transfers.  Most of the tendering processes for Nilkawt were long conducted from a sumptuous office in the old royal palace in Arthurity, now a suburb of Matildaville.  This occurred until the extensive irregularities were suitably acknowledged.

Since that time, the Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait has held a monopoly on several services in Nilkawt besides its outreach practices.  This includes the management of the still-quite-new cell-fee building in Matildaville.

Another monopoly of the Order, at least for the present, is its omnipotence and omnibenevolence within the Legislative Design Authority.  The authority is currently working from the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught, having supplied new, more private accommodation within the cell-fee building for the former residents of the court.  The court is also in Matildaville.

The two official parlours in the Palace of the Parlours, where the current Parliament of Nilkawt still officially sits, is itself situated in the former capital of Matildaville.  Nearby, in the village-suburb of Arthurity, is a museum.  It contains the original single-chambered, Quest Sinister Great Hall with its vast space and high roof and large, ancient round table.

Neither the current parliament nor the current staff of the museum are officially part of the Government of Nilkawt.  The parliament is merely where legislation in Nilkawt officially originates.  The Great Hall is where the myths and legends about Nilkawt usually originate.

As part of their outreach services, the sisters of the Order are available, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, to assist anyone seeking to dispel myths and legends and improve the official drafting legislation, anywhere in the world.  The sisters do, of course, charge a benevolence fee for this service.  The fee is their only compensation for the inconvenience of being on call at all hours of the day and night in all sorts of climatic and political conditions.

All the residential care institutions of Nilkawt are situated within Austrooliana.  That county is at a considerable distance from Backoutshire. The philanthropy in Austrooliana is expressed through the fact that all its residential care institutions, according to size, are described as companion houses and mingling mansions.  The upkeep of the public areas of those companion houses and mingling mansions, including the outdoor areas, is maintained by suitably gregarious, rostered members of the Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait.

The sisters also provide their sublimely secular outreach services towards the reform of ridiculous and ridiculously unfair traditions in Nilkawt.  They especially do so in Austrooliana.

The sisters always do their work in a spirit of magnanimity and equanimity, regardless of how menial or momentous that work nat be.  Members of the Order are always on hand to provide care for fearful members of the Nilkawtian public during any constitutional crisis.  The sisters do so mainly through their support for universally reasonable rules and regulations.

Since the new Head of State was appointed, Nilkawt has been known throughout the world for its culture of reasonable kindness and gentle ambition.  This has especially been the case since the restoration of the money key.

Nilkawt is also now known as a society devoted to its own improvement into perpetuity.  As with any society, recording the past in Nilkawt is a highly political activity, which is why this embassy is mainly devoted to recording the present.  No members of the Order currently hold official diplomatic positions on behalf of Nilkawt though a few are likely to exist within the Nilkawtian secret services.

As part of their official and public outreach services, and as an expression of their beliefs and values, the members of the Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait express their views on historical events only in a way likely to improve the future of the world.  Their main duty is to ensure every society can have an accountable government soon, without waiting into perpetuity for such an eventuality to occur.

The sisters do not participate judgementally in the work of the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught.  They are not permitted to have any say at all in the local Low Kawt Courts.  The Low Kawt Court judges are based in Backoutshire at the base of the small hill upon which the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught is situated.  The cell-fee building is on the other side of the hill, between the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught and the old royal palace in Matildaville.

There are usually no current sisters of the Perpetual Wait associated with the new royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt in Twaklinton.  The Ladies-in-Waiting are able, instead, to handle all the outreach services in the palace itself, particularly in and from the Thrown Room.

Most of the attention in Matildaville, and in Backoutshire more generally, is towards further industrial development and particularly towards business.  There have been considerable concerns expressed in Backoutshire that the Parliament of Nilkawt, and even the courts, will soon be transferred from Matildaville to Twaklinton.  The reason for this appears to be due to the fact that most international investors are still liable to confuse Matildaville in Backoutshire in Nilkawt with Matildaville in Virginia in the United States of America.

In order to dispel that misunderstanding, a beautiful new town called Amarika is currently being planned in a long abandoned industrial area of Backoutshire called Rerstberkitt.  An outreach service of the Perpetual Wait is already in the area, mainly to assist during the eviction of the current low-income residents.

All outreach services of the Perpetual Wait are considered to be seasonal, in any season of the year.  As outreach work is considered not just to be seasonal work but also as a casual occupation in Nilkawt, the sisters always expect to be paid a premium for the inconvenience of leaving their abbey and thereby being on constant call in the service of the public.

The sisters rarely participate in currency trading though they have been known to work as citizen-advocates from time to time.  They believe they should have a monopoly on the provision of citizen-advocacy as they consider it to be an outreach service.  This is at odds with most Nilkawtians, who believe their citizen-advocates should mainly be free of all potentially conflicting institutional associations.

Monday, 17 October 2016

New Trade and Investment Strategy

The Trade and Investment Commissioner for Nilkawt has one of the world's most important economic positions.  When the former commissioner became a the Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments, it became necessary for the Nilkawtians to consider whether or not a new, equally competent Trade and Investment Commissioner should, and even could, be appointed to act on their behalf.

Even whilst fulfilling her new ministerial duties, the former commissioner continued, as efficiently as possible, to continue supporting Nilkawtian trade and investment.  Even so, this because somewhat difficult when working with her ministerial colleagues, particularly the Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade and Minister for Brilliance, Prosperity and Pleasant Foreign Relations.

Whilst reviewing every aspect of Nilkawtian life in relation to health, defence and delightful environments, both in the context of financial considerations and interpersonal considerations, as well as economic development and social development,

The former commissioner continues to maintain her long-standing local government duties, ensuring shopping in Elegantshire is a pleasurable experience for anyone able to afford it.  Her duties have been streamlined with the assistance of The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers, as well as her highly competent personal staff.

Although business as usual has been maintained as suitably as possible throughout Nilkawt and this embassy, the interim, rostered holders of the trade and investment position have found it difficult to maintain suitable continuity in the role.

There are many investment opportunities in Nilkawt.  To ensure they are all properly nurtured and ever obnoxiously exploited, the Nilkawtian Interpersonal Standards Organisation, through its committees of inquiry, will independently monitor every economic situation.

Two highly experienced members of the aforementioned committees are Lady Daphne Tea-Cosy and Lady Cynthia Biscuit, who are both former officers of polite policing in Nilkawt.  During their policing duties they were officially known as aunties, not ladies.

Lady Daphne is a former Nilkawtian Minister for Courtesy and Moral Philosophy whilst Lady Cynthia is a former Deputy Minister for Courtesy and Moral Philosophy.  Lady Cynthia was, until recently, the Chief of Polite Policing for the whole of Nilkawt.  Lady Daphne has been the Chairpersonage of the International Standards Organisation for many years as well as being, until recently, the Deputy Chief of Polite Policing.

As two highly experienced experts on politeness, Lady Daphne and Lady Cynthia have been developing courses and workshops for anyone wishing to learn from their enlightened cultural leadership.  After considerable consultation with the former trade and investment commissioner, and with all the currently serving and formerly serving Nilkawtian commissioners and ministers and ladies-in-waiting, and the judges of the Hike Kawt Court of the Court, and the very private private secretaries to Her Illustrious Highness, Twaklin I, Ethereal Grand Duchess of Nilkawt, Lady Daphne and Lady Cynthia have tentatively implemented a new trade and investment strategy for Nilkawt.

Upholding the uncommon law of Nilkawt remains the highest priority of the ladies, in accordance with the Constitution.  Their second highest priority is to maintain pleasantly peaceful neighbourhood relations, both domestically and internationally, again in accordance with the Nilkawtian Constitution.

A new, acting, interim Trade and Investment Commissioner has now been appointed to oversee Nilkawt's streamlined new trade and investment strategy, in accordance with traditional transitional arrangements.

There is usually a great deal of legal work necessary whenever any Nilkawtian considers changing names, boundaries and titles.  The new, acting, interim Trade and Investment Commissioner for Nilkawt has already officially been given the new title of Acting Nilkawtian Interim Strategic Interests' Commissioner for Mutually Lucrative Trade and Peaceful Long-Term Investments.

The Nilkawtians, as upholders of enlightened democracy, wish to ensure wealth distribution remains equitably beneficial across their entire society.  They are deeply suspicious of foreign geostrategy and all other aspects of geopolitics and claims to spheres of influence.

The Nilkawtians also wish to ensure that all further industrial development of their society enhances their own quality of life considerably.  They never trust unenlightened nations, or the national of unenlightened nations, to do the right thing without proper supervision.  Even so, in accordance with the open international relations expressed through the mission of this digital embassy, the new Acting Nilkawtian Interim Strategic Interests' Commissioner for Mutually Lucrative Trade and Peaceful Long-Term Investments will continue to promote Nilkawt's excellent economy as an exportable, patented, franchising opportunity.

In accordance with the additional confidence provided through the Financial Services Review and the Immigration Review, the new Acting Nilkawtian Interim Strategic Interests' Commissioner for Mutually Lucrative Trade and Peaceful Long-Term Investments will promote and enhance the international status of the non-Twaklineque aspects of the culture industry of Nilkawt, in association with the Tourism Commissioner.

The name of the new Acting Nilkawtian Interim Strategic Interests' Commissioner for Mutually Lucrative Trade and Peaceful Long-Term Investments is Doctor Wanda Wye.  Doctor Wye is a former Nilkawtian Minister for Energy, Upkeep and Equal Opportunities.  She also has extensive international experience as a theatrical impresario

Doctor Wye has an additionally impressive résumé, demonstrating her vast knowledge of global financial and investment matters.  She understands the essential characteristics of the Enlightened Nations and a sense of belonging.  She is also willing and able to assist with the supply of refreshments and tax forums, as required.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

New Humour Rights Commissioner

As the previous occupant of the highest position in the Humour Rights Commission has now been transferred to a situation in which she supervises former traditions, it has been necessary to appoint a new Humour Rights Commissioner.

As has previously been the case, the new Humour Rights Commissioner will continue to be responsible for monitoring and monetising the expression of all non-Twaklinesque culture within Nilkawt itself.

As the Humour Rights Commissioner has always taken precedence over all other commissioners in Nilkawt, the new commissioner, Jen Raleigh-Wright, Duchess of Boundaries, will be expected to continue the most important work of her predecessor.

The priorities for the duchess will most likely include the continuation of the Financial Services Review, with an emphasis on economic development, currency trading and government revenues.

There is also likely to be a review of the system of honours, to ensure it does not become too ridiculous.

Friday, 7 October 2016

National Museum of Former Traditions

All marchionesses in Nilkawt are now employed in the recently opened National Museum of Former Traditions.  This obviously includes the former Humour Rights Commissioner, The Exceedingly Honourable The Marchioness of Passatempo, Lady Felicia Gioconda Allegra Divertimento.

At regular times each day at the new museum, all former ceremonies and associated practices in relation to formerly official traditional ribbons are formally performed using genuine traditional official ribbons and genuine marchionesses.

To ensure that the current Marchioness of Algorithms can remain employed in the royal palace as one of the most senior Women of the Bedchamber amongst the Ladies-in-Waiting, her most senior title is about to be ceremoniously upgraded to the Duchess of Rent.  In her new capacity, the Marchioness of Algorithms, as the Duchess of Rent, will supervise the transformation of the former Nilkawtian traditions of rent taking and rent seeking to ensure they comply with dignified digital and financial realities in an enlightened, democratic society.

The new museum contains a display on how Ladies-in-Waiting were formerly formally appointed.  There is also a display on how to become a Lady-in-Waiting to the Ethereal Grand Duchess in the months and years ahead.

All new titles in Nilkawt are currently based on merit, unless a substantial sum of money is supplied for the privilege of having additional privileges.  Nilkawt has never been an armigerous or otherwise harmful society.

It has been a surprise to many returning citizens that so many changes in traditions have occurred in Nilkawt.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence

For some time now, the sublime secretariat of the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence has been based on the new royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt in Twaklinton, the new capital city of Nilkawt.

The new Nilkawtian head of state has long been associated with the training centre.  Many currently eminent persons have trained through the establishment, including a former Nilkawtian Minister of Communications.

All education and training in Nilkawt has recently been supervised and reviewed by the Minister for Education, Training and Interpersonal Niceties, Mr Nick MacYavelly.  The Minister has placed much emphasis on developing the reputation of the Dada School of Management over the past year.

Meanwhile, the Nilkawtian head of state, Her Illustrious Highness, Twaklin I, Ethereal Grand Duchess of Nilkawt, has continued with her work as the chief executive officer of the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.

Training offered through the centre has been available in many locations around the world and not just in Nilkawt itself.

Training in citizen-journalism has been based mainly in Adelaide in Australia.  Two volumes of study notes on the subject of citizen-journalism have recently been archived:

Volume One

Volume Two

Training in ethereal economics has also been based mainly in Adelaide in Australia in recent years.  A volume of documentation on that subject has now been archived, too:

Ethereal economics

Training in Twaklinological studies has been conducted in many locations, including an Adelaidean science studio.  There is a large volume of documentation related to the subject:

Twaklinology archive

Training in enlightenment has been clearly outlined by the sublime secretariat staff since first developing and introducing the work of the centre to the world from Adelaide:

21st century Enlightenment

As most students around the world are unable to attend courses in Nilkawt, and probably not in Adelaide, either, there are many other locations in which they can be trained in the harmonious interplay of beauty, understanding and magnificence.

Ethereal introductory quaternary tutorials

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Accountable Government

The Nilkawtians have long attempted to ensure their governments are accountable.  As with any other society, this is easier said than done.  The results of elections, especially when looking at the qualities, or lack of them, of winning candidates, is often considered to be a bad joke.  Here is a little history:

From 2014


Humour Rights Commissioner

Grand closing

Former Minister of Communications

Grand reopening

Election results

Independent Commissioners for Free and Fair Elections

Independent Commissioners against Corruption


Public holidays

An excellent economy

From 2015

Office of Electoral Progress

Local Low Kawt courts

A beautiful political system

Faculty of Official Historians

Important government announcements

New cabinet

Levels of government

Recording reactions

System of honours

Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade

State enterprises

Constitutional duties

Events in the Thrown Room

Business as usual

Official ceremony of Ceremony and Salaries

Office of Statistical Enlightenment

Foolya Biennale


Traditional transitional arrangements

Convocations of the Pretty Council

Economic development

Dada School of Management

Announcement for the next election


Enrolment and ennoblement

Election day

Improving Nilkawt into perpetuity

Since the most recent constitutional crisis and state of emergency, many Nilkawtian traditions have been reviewed and modified.  Clarity about the existing levels of government continues to be sought by the official investigators.

The announcement of the election result is unlikely to be known for at least a week and perhaps not for several months.  It is hoped there will not be a Hike Kawt challenge this time.

It has often been noted with some admiration in diplomatic circles that even though Nilkawt is one of the world's most enlightened democracies it has no political parties.

Monday, 3 October 2016

Improving Nilkawt into Perpetuity

Twaklinomical members of The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers are continuing to simplify Nilkawtian state enterprises.  This is reflected in the currently very well balanced government budget.

Nilkawt has long had an excellent economy.  To ensure it remains that way, tender processes have been considerably improved over the past few months.  This has been achieved through the collaborative efforts of The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers and the Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering.

Robots known as automatons are now employed in the provision of factual information through this embassy at all hours of the day and night, on every day of the year.  There is, therefore, no longer a need for the grand closing ceremonies and grand opening ceremonies.  Nor is there any longer any necessity to employ rude, lazy and ill-informed reception staff.

Automatons are also employed in other government facilities where people mainly go in search of advice and assistance.  Factual information is most easily and reliably supplied by relatively infallible machines.

In view of this, the Nilkawtians themselves now have a much more efficient economy, and no worries about taking time off for public holidays, weekends, early morning walks in the countryside, health appointments, lunchtime picnics in the parks, birthday parties and leisurely evening promenades.

The use of robots and foreigners for menial tasks and repetitive intellectual work has meant that the Nilkawtians themselves can spend their time much more creatively.  They improve their dwellings and communities.  They spend time gardening and cooking.  They develop their skills as arts practitioners.  They become knowledgeable about many aspects of life.

Unfortunately, automatons and other robots and machines are constitutionally unable to become Nilkawtian government ministers.  Fortunately, nor are foreigners.

Last Friday was election day.  The names of the new government ministers were revealed that evening to the assembled dignitaries in the Thrown Room of Palazzo Twaklinilkawt in Twaklinton.  When the results became known, there were concerns that the voting machine had been hacked.  Senior staff members of the Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering have spent all weekend investigating the matter.

The latest news is that the trustees of the Twaklinomatical College of Mathematical Automation have been called in to offer assistance.  The trustees have a duty to improve Nlikawt into perpetuity through the compassionate use of equations.