Thursday, 24 November 2016

Nilkawtian Association of South Australia

One of the best ways for non-Nilkawtians to gain an appreciation of Nilkawt and Nilkawtian society is by joining an official Nilkawtian association.

Within Nilkawt itself, considerable training is required before being eligible to join any sort of official association.  For example, the Royal Palace Association of Suitably Qualified Tour Guides currently only has three full members.

The other twenty-eight tour guides are still in training though they are already capable to doing the job without notes, even at short notice.  However, they are not yet quite able to do the job without a map of the palace.

The Reliable Retailing Association of Nilkawt similarly requires a high level of training for full membership.  As well as the information supplied by any person selling any sort of product in Nilkawt, all products sold in Nilkawt are expected to be of the highest possible level of reliability, within reason.

Most full members of the Reliable Retailing Association of Nilkawt are based in Elegantshire.  This is why The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers will usually also be involved in assessing the qualities of products and services in and beyond the better parts of Nilkawt.

The Nilkawtian Association of South Australia (NASA) holds its digital meetings in the natural common room of the gatehouse associated with Villa Twaklinilkawt.  The patron of the association is the Nilkawtian Ambassador to the Digital Sphere, Her Excellency Madam Magda Carter, though Madam Carter does not attend those meetings herself.

The Nilkawtian Association of South Australia enhances and celebrates the peaceful and prosperous relationship between Nilkawt and South Australia, or at least the Nilkawtian relationship with South Australian members of the association.

Wednesday, 23 November 2016


Unlike the other Nilkawtian counties, the County of State has never had any but a boring, administrative name.  In that regard, it is very much like parts of Australia.  Yet unlike Australia, the names of places have never reflected colonialism.  Nilkawt was founded upon a fair and open contractual agreement.

The current capital city of Nilkawt, Twaklinton, was originally called The Capital.  Likewise, the new royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt, was originally merely called the new royal palace.

Yet unimaginative, bureaucratic boringness has never appealed to the Nilkawtians, which is why the Government of Nilkawt has recently decided to hold a referendum for new names for the County of State and for all of the parts of the county with boring names.

For example, all the villages in the County of State were originally given numbers rather than names, as were the farms, the roads and the parks.  Yet there are many administrative procedures to follow in Nilkawt when considering changing names, boundaries and titles.  Most of those procedures are based on tradition.

So far, the proposal for the title of the County of State seeks to invite the public to state whether they want to:

a) Keep the name as County of State

b) Change the name to Capital Territory

c) Change the name to Greater Twaklinton

d) Change the name to Twaklinshire

e) Change the name to something else entirely

f) Change the name to Something Else Entirely

g) Hold the referendum again later as making a decision is too difficult at present

Monday, 21 November 2016


Nilkawt is a extra-low voltage society.  It is also a low gas society, at least as far as pipelines are concerned.  Its main, original biogas plant is rarely needed to run at full capacity, mostly due to the fact that there are now many mini biogas plants in Nilkawt, along with solar panels and Savonius wind turbines.  There are microgrids and battery banks dotted appropriately amongst all the residential, business and industrial areas. 

In rural areas, there are wood gas generators of electricity.  The heat from the generators is also used to extract and reuse the water from the wood, and to reclaim water from other sources, mainly for irrigation purposes.  Similarly, with all the biogas plants.  Waste water is recycled considerably in Nilkawtian non-food industries.

There are many mysteries of electricity, just as there are with gravity.  There are many electric motors used in Nilkawt but no internal combustion engines.

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

More Constitutional Conundrums

The transition of Nilkawtian society from a mainly medieval yet purportedly democratic one to a mainly modern and properly democratic one is apparently still continuing.  The previous head of state appointed all the current chief officers of the Counties at the beginning of June 2012.  Those persons are meant to stay in their predominantly ceremonial local government positions until the end of May 2019.

Under the former head of state, there was a compulsory obligation on the appointee to take up the position.  The Jubilee Ethereal Diamond Honours List originally required the appointee to take up their duties for 700 years instead of seven.

The current head of state recently mentioned that she had once held ambitions to become the Countess of Elegantshire instead of the Countess of Dada, yet the county of Dada has the nicer crown and the more majestic, rose-embroidered ceremonial gown.  It also has the magnificent official private residence of the Dadadian chief officer, namely Castle Zinziere.

The splendidly superior sovereign rose gold crown of Dada, with its perfect sixty pink diamonds, elevates the prestige of Dadadian dignity above that of Elegantshire and every other Nilkawtian county except the County of State.  There is no chief officer of the County of State other than the head of state.

In geographical terms the Ethereal Grand Duchy is slightly larger than metropolitan Adelaide though its population, on recent estimates, appears to be about half that of the aforementioned metropolis. Each Nilkawtian county is an artistic territory in its own right and often considered to be of significant global importance.

When the Countess of Dada became the Ethereal Grand Duchess of Nilkawt, she maintained her former castle and title and crown and gown and ceremonial duties.  Here illustrious highness acceded the throne on Wednesday, 23 April 2014.

Shortly afterwards, this digital embassy began its services to Nilkawtians and the world.  However, there are no indications in the Nilkawtian Constitution about the legitimacy of digital diplomacy.  Whether anything announced through this embassy is legitimate is therefore a matter of much speculation at present.

Additionally, the neighbouring Principality of Little Outbush, which is much smaller than Nilkawt but grander in ethereal status, has been in considerable political, social and financial turmoil recently.  His Royal Highness, the very young, acne-faced Prince Brett-Zitt VIII, has separated from his wife, the former glamour model-celebutante-reality television participant, Kate the Arrogant.  They had only been married for three days.

Kate is the daughter of Brunhilda of Merkel-Austrasia and Johann Majeur of Hunting-Down.  She is living in the Grand Palace of Little Outbush while Prince Brett-Zitt has abdicated and taken a cruise to New Zealand with his mother, Princess Prudence.

Princess Prudence has long been known by the name she used as a former art student, Prue Raffle-Light.  She has been a highly popular public figure in Little Outbushian society, unlike her late husband.

Unlike Nilkawt, which remains an entirely independent state, Little Outbush has been a member of the authoritarian Enlightenment Union (EU) since the then autocratic ruler of Little Outbush, Prince Parly Men-Tory X-XCVI, the aforementioned late husband of Princess Prudence, signed the Mess Trick Treaty in February 1992.

Princess Kate has now assumed the responsibilities of an enlightened despot, in accordance with the Mess Trick Treaty.  Unfortunately for the Nilkawtians, the arrogant princess has closed all the borders of Little Outbush in order to keep out tabloid journalists and paparazzi photographers.  This means that the Nilkawtians and their visitors can no longer enter and exit Nilkawt through Little Outbushian territory.

The Constitutional of Nilkawt states that the Nilkawtians will do everything in their power to maintain peaceful relations with their neighbours.  They are currently unsure how to proceed next.  None of the other land routes between Nilkawt and the outside world have been in good repair for the past seventy years.

The only relatively accessible way into Nilkawt at present is along a long and narrow track through a network of mainly mysterious caves.

If you have significant privileges, you will be able to examine the historical documentation of Nilkawtian history and constitutional conundrums for yourself:

The Mess Trick Treaty version two

Appointment of the Countess of Dada

By appointment to the Countess of Dada

An enlightened definition of Dada

The appointment of the Ethereal Grand Duchess

The matter of history

If you are not particularly privileged, you can easily continue your research as follows:

July 2014

August 2014

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Undercover Operations

The locations of most Nilkawtians in the world are usually top secret.  Many Nilkawtians are involved in undercover operations to protect Nilkawtian sovereignty.  This work is reflected in the entry requirements for anyone wishing to enter Nilkawt.

Many Nilkawtian secret service agents are directly involved in the government of Nilkawt, often bypassing the cabinet.  Like members of the cabinet, they do not receive salaries for their work.

The further industrial development of Nilkawt requires an extensive, consistent and reliable system of capital controls.   The unique monetary policy of Nilkawt adds to the stability of its currently controls.  The Nikawtians also maintain a reasonably fixed exchange rate with the Australian dollar, for reasons of convenience.

Undercover operations take place within Nilkawt as well as in other countries and at border crossings, at airports and in various other internationally difficult situations.  In Nilkawt itself, undercover officers act at all levels of government to ensure all sorts of secretaries can keep all sorts of secrets.

Undercover officers also work within and through the sublime secretariat.  In such situations they are usually big data specialists.

Undercover agents are often involved in the management of tender processes in Nilkawt.  Their job is to prevent corruption occurring in negotiations and contracts.

If undercover officers are involved in global communications, they usually by-pass the Chief Secretary of Global Communications.  They can usually be found, or not, within the Chancery additional official offices.

Officially, there are no secret societies in Nilkawt, even within the Austrooliana Club.

Many citizen-advocates are former Nilkawtian secret service agents.  That is why they are trusted so highly by the public.

All public servants in Nilkawt, and even ordinary citizens, are expected to abide by the regulations of the Interpersonal Standards Organisation.

Several operatives are likely to be working undercover through the outreach services of the Perpetual Wait though no-one is willing to reveal where and why and how.

Whether a former Nilkawtian defence minister was an undercover double agent has long been a matter of gossip in Nilkawt.  The Nilkawtians are meant to maintain open international relations at all times.

Recruiting people to assist the Nilkawtian intelligence services is not usually particularly difficult, especially when people find their usual jobs otherwise quite boring.

Several undercover operations have been carried out from the guest wing of Villa Twaklinilkawt as well as the annex, at least since the restoration of the Money Key.

Please note that all the Ladies-in-Waiting to Her Illustrious Highness are intelligent intelligence gatherers, whatever they happen to be wearing.  Their main duty is to maintain Nilkawtian sovereignty.

Monday, 14 November 2016

County of State

Surrounding the Nilkawtian royal palace, Palazzo Twaklinilkawt, is Twaklinton, the capital city of Nilkawt.  Twaklinton is, in turn, surrounded by, and included within, the County of State, a local government area.

The County of State is surrounded by the other counties of Nilkawt:  Austrooliana, Backoutshire, Cupateeunkaique, Dada, Elegantshire and Foolya.

Most of the County of State, outside Twaklinton, is rural, peaceful and even bucolic.  Even most of the parklands of Twaklinton, and the parklands and wildlands in the royal palace grounds, are likewise.

There are environmental monitoring stations in the grounds of the royal palace, and in the parklands of Twaklinton and throughout the County of State.  These are scientifically calibrated to assess all sorts of natural and unnatural circumstances.

From the outside, the monitoring stations look like quaint holiday cottages.  Inside, they contain state-of-the-art laboratories.

The County of State is where the state of the Nilkawtian environment is now most carefully measured.  This was not formerly the case.

The director of the County of State Informational Resource Observatories (CSIRO) is Dr Henley Grange, a former Nilkawtian foreign minister.  Dr Grange is also responsible for all the bushfire prevention provisions in Nilkawt as well as all the biodiversity protection provisions.  He is also responsible for leading rescue missions whenever a rare marsupial or random bushwalker wanders into a cave near the Nilkawtian border.

Dr Grange and his colleagues have set up monitoring stations throughout the forests, farms and cave networks not only within Nilkawt but also in those in the surrounding countryside of neighbouring states.  Due to the prevalence of quaint cottages in and around Nilkawt, many unsuspecting tourists mistake them for the accommodation they have booked. 

Most tourists are, instead, given a key to a nondescript, uninsulated transportable cabin in an non-scenic area near a busy transportation route.  Those persons have usually failed to read the fine print stating that all photography is for illustrative purposes only and unlikely to be an accurate representation of the accommodation and services provided.

Dr Grange, on the other hand, seeks to ensure an accurate representation of science is provided to Nilkawtians and to tourists, and to anyone else for that matter.  Dr Grange is currently engaged to be married to the Minister for Housing.  He is, therefore, no longer a hermit though he still prefers to wear few or no clothes when not expecting visitors.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Reasonable Insurance Risk Commission

Every society has its risks.  Nilkawt is no exception.

Recently, a Reasonable Insurance Risk Commissioner was appointed to assess all sorts of risks within Nilkawt.  The commissioner's main duties will include identifying and auditing all risks and specifying the responsibilities associated with each risk.

The newly appointed commissioner, Mrs Jane Grange, is a former Nilkawtian defence minister.

The commissioner was appointed by the Great Saviour of the Treasury after considerable guidance and advice from a considerable number of other former Nilkawtian ministers.

A correlation has been widely observed concerning the fact that a travel advisory for visitors to Nilkawt has only ever been necessary after Mrs Grange had shown too much initiative and not enough courtesy.  As a former student of the Matildan School of Physical Education, Legal Traditions and Unjustifiable Wealth Transfers, Mrs Grange has used her skills to her own advantage on numerous occasions.  She has recently been advising the Minister for Housing on how to advance the wealth of a few Nilkawtians at the expense of the many.

Mrs Grange is a board member of the Dada School of Management.  She has a considerable knowledge of wealth distribution and wealth transfers but not as much knowledge of trade and investment as her sister.

As the former wife of a former Nilkawtian foreign minister, Mrs Grange believes she is an expert on risky relationships.

Thursday, 10 November 2016


As all Nilkawtians are dual nationals of Nilkawt and Australia, they are required to use two passports when entering and exiting Nilkawtian territory.  As this annex is itself considered to be part of Nilkawtian territory, for diplomatic purposes, all Nilkawtians entering it should have their Nilkawtian passports with them when seeking or offering assistance.

For non-Nilkawtian passport holders, entry requirements for the annex are highly restricted.  The entry requirements for Nilkawt are even more restricted than that.

The annex can often be visited on a virtual public tour of Villa Twaklinilkawt.  Indeed, you are likely to be participating in one of those tours whilst reading this documentation.  All tours are closely monitored by undercover Nilkawtian secret service operatives.

If you are not yet aware of the current entry requirements for Nilkawt, whether you are a Nilkawtian, an Australian or any other nationality, please inform yourself sufficiently about such matters with the urgency that pursuit requires.  As with any government decisions relating to immigration, the entry requirements at the borders are likely to change at very short notice.

For most Nilkawtian citizens, Nilkawtian passports are only valid for six weeks.  Most Nilkawtians do not take longer holidays than that, except in exceptional circumstances.  Additionally, Nilkawtian business travellers are expected to resume business in their normal environments as soon as possible.

Nilkawtians with Special International Tasks (SIT) to perform are usually able to obtain extended their passports for the duration of the SIT, particularly if required to travel long distances on an economy air ticket.

All Nilkawtians are expected to return to Nilkawt before the validity of their passports expires.  This embassy does not supply passports to anyone, under any circumstances.

To enter Nilkawt after the expiry of your Nikawtian passport, please apply for a tourist visa on your Australian passport.  You will also need to include your Nilkawtian passport with the application if you wish to avoid delays and considerable fines at the border.

All returning citizens should attempt do so with the dignity that process requires.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Roster of Competency

For all areas of local government in Nikawt, the Roster of Competency supplies all the necessary administrative and technical requirements.  The Nilkawtians are keen to ensure their local areas are managed as locally as possible, without the possibility of corruption, incompetence, obfuscation and obscurantism.

The Roster of Competency ensures that local secrets are brought into the open and all forms of privacy are respected.  This, in turn, assists the residents of each local area to enjoy a superior sense of belonging when compared with anywhere else in the world.

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Electoral College

Although the local government of Nilkawt, and the government departments of the national government, often manage to manage themselves without too much difficulty, the Government of Nilkawt is principally managed, at least in theory, by the Nilkawtian Electoral College.

The number of electors in the Nilkawtian Electoral College varies depending upon the number of serving, but not necessarily deserving, cabinet ministers.  Although there has been much debate as to whether any electoral college is consistent with democratic principles, the Nilkawtian Electoral College is mainly a training facility.

Nilkawtian government elections are always considered to be learning processes, as any knowledge of the Office of Electoral Progress will indicate to you.  Nilkawt has a beautiful political system. No ugly politics is permitted in Nilkawt at all.

Whenever there is an important government announcement, it is made by the Head of State.  That important announcement is then transmitted to this embassy to be subsequently transmitted to the world at large.

Whenever there is an important government announcement, members of the Faculty for Official Historians are usually on standby in the palace and on various street corners around Nilkawt.  One or two of them are occasionally found here in the embassy, possibly during a tour of Villa Twaklinilkawt.

The historians in the palace and on the street corners record the reactions of the Nilkawtian public and various visitors.  The historians here are meant to record the reactions of the entire world.  They are likely to be recording reactions in several locations around Villa Twaklinilkawt today and tomorrow.

The Nilkawtian Electoral College most recently did its most important work on 30 September 2016.  The main duty of the Electoral College is to ensure the smooth transition from one cabinet to another.

The current cabinet officially became the new cabinet in March last year.  It is not yet known when the names of the next new cabinet will be announced.  It could be at any time between today and March 2018, though it is likely to be sooner rather than later.  Nilkawtians are averse to unnecessary suspense and speculation.

Until the new cabinet is officially announced, the current cabinet will be continuing its work as usual.  A similar situation occurred with the previous cabinet, much to the distress of the Nilkawtian people.  That may have had some bearing on the Constitutional Crisis of October 2014.

Monday, 7 November 2016

Restricted and Banned Items and Activities

Most guidance on what is banned, restricted or permitted in Nilkawt, and in various parts of Nilkawt, is supplied by the local government authorities.  This is important to understand if you wish to explore the investment opportunities in Nilkawt without experiencing difficulties.

If you are amongst the many returning citizens to Nilkawt, please note that the previously restricted and banned items and activities may have changed in your absence, as may the formerly permitted items and activities now banned or restricted.

The current list of banned items still includes frigates, chicken nuggets, submarines, jelly beans, nuclear missiles, metadata files, authoritarian uniforms, fairy floss, lawns, fighter jets, stock market bets, military helicopters, over-paid doctors, any sort of conscription, unwarranted prescriptions, ill-mannered visitors, firearms, burglar alarms, prisons, slaves, casinos, poker machines, pet food, uncomfortable shoes, computer games, cosmetic surgery, tobacco products, nail varnish, chocolate covered breakfast cereals, land mines, sporting equipment, deep fryers, circuses, lawn mowers, nightclubs, microphones, espresso machines, armoured vehicles, fast food restaurants, polystyrene drinking cups, artillery, pornography, mortars, over-capacity mortuaries, grenades, chewing gum, unhealthy brown liquids, mass-produced greeting cards, bayonets, bassinets and corporate sponsorship of the arts.

All restricted items and activities require permits.  You may apply for those permits at the border, subject to the ability to pay the fees.

For information on banned activities, please refer to the uncommon law.

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

International Peace Strategy

Nilkawt has long been known for its international peace strategy, at least in the most enlightened and delightful diplomatic circles.

The current Head of State of Nilkawt has had a long and successful career in the provision of calm and peaceful environments for local and international deliberations on all sorts of important matters.  Whether the persons in attendance at those deliberations consistently and reliably behave calmly and reasonably themselves has often been beyond the influence of Her Illustrious Highness, which is why she has developed a highly effective peaceful strategy to overcome such unpleasantness.

To ensure a peaceful and prosperous Nilkawt can be maintained, a peaceful and prosperous wider world must also be developed.  This starts in Adelaide, the location of this digital global embassy.

The Nilkawtians want their citizens to be able to visit and reside in pleasant areas of the world, not the unpleasant ones.  Nilkawtian citizens do their best to support the advancement and maintenance of a prosperous Adelaide.  They therefore do their best to support the advancement and maintenance of Adelaide's health services.  This is in keeping with the current strategy for the advancement and maintenance of health services, defence services and the protection of pleasant environments in Nilkawt itself.

For many years, only highly irritable persons were responsible for ministerial duties in relation to Nilkawt's defence.  This was in keeping with the defence strategies of many unenlightened nations, hence it was subject to review soon after the new, highly enlightened Head of State took up her position.

Former Nilkawtian defence ministers often bought up agricultural properties for their own benefit.  They subsequently sold the properties, for a highly reduced sum, to the Nilkawtian government as a way to avoid bankruptcy.  The same applied to other government ministers with real estate interests they could not afford to maintain.

Gradually, the Government of Nilkawt consolidated its global landholdings in one location, thereby simplifying the management of the property portfolio.  All land purchased by the Government of Nilkawt then passed to the symbolic ownership of the Head of State's crown or sun hat, depending upon the time of year.

The Nilkawtians have, for more than a year now, been seeking to expand their landholdings into Australia, for highly enlightened, trade and investment purposes.  This is in keeping with the Nilkawtian International Peace Strategy.

Security in and for Nilkawt is always associated with peace and pleasantness, and usually prosperity, too.  The immigration policies of Nilkawt are therefore intertwined with the investment policies.  Much effort has been made, by the Head of State, for the peace and justice policies to be incorporated into the immigration and investment policies, though there are apparently legal obstacles to that occurring.

At a diplomatic level, Nilkawt has an open international relations policy.  Whether an open domestic relations policy is also required has been of considerable debate in Nilkawt for several years now.  The citizen-advocates have been doing their best to achieve an open and honest outcome on the matter.