Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Enlightened Nations Resolution

The latest Enlightened Nations Resolution is known as Purple 33.  It resolves the problems in the world caused by the United Nations, the World Bank, the Whirled Bank, the International Monetary Fund, the International Money Tree Fund, the World Economic Forum and the Enlightenment Union.

Everyone knows that the United Nations is not united, the World Bank perpetuates poverty, the Whirled Bank pretends to recycle money but only whirls it towards the rich, the International Monetary Fund undermines democracy, the International Money Tree Fund stores money away for no known purpose, the World Economic Forum only supports plutocrats and the Enlightenment Union is not enlightened.

Nilkawt has always supplied leadership in the development of reasonable international law.

Nilkawt has always upheld fair and sensible contractual agreements at the local, national and international levels.

The uncommon law of Nilkawt is itself an expression of enlightenment not only within Nilkawtian society but also in the international sphere.  That is why Nilkawt has Most Enlightened Nation Status within the Enlightened Nations.

The Nilkawtian Office of Statistical Enlightenment helps to enlighten many legislative, administrative and judicial decisions.  With the assistance of The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers, the office helps to display the essential data elegantly and relevantly.  This is particularly useful when working with other enlightened nations to reach agreement.

The accounting methods of the Enlightened Nations provide the philanthropic foundation for providing persons from unenlightened nations with seasonal work.  As with all enlightened nations, Nilkawt supports open international relations whenever and wherever appropriate.

Properly preparing for any Enlightened Nations Conference is an important indication of seriousness, competence and conscientiousness amongst the delegates.  Wastefulness and abusiveness must be avoided at all times by representatives of any member nation of the Enlightened Nations. 

A realistic government budget is always important to maintain within the Enlightened Nations, particularly in relation to sovereignty.  Resolution Purple 33 is a matter relating to sovereignty.

The citizen-advocates of Nilkawt do their best to help ensure all representatives of Nilkawt act in the best interests of the Nilkawtian people at all times and in all places.  The citizen-advocates take a particularly keen interest in matters relating to enrolment and ennoblement.

Since Nilkawt developed its new trade and investment strategy, all members of the Enlightened Nations have attempted to follow its lead.  Nilkawt's international peace strategy is also having a considerable influence in and between the other enlightened nations.

Resolution Purple 33 relates to the peaceful overthrow of incompetently ruled nations, empires and principalities.  The resolution requires the implementation of an enlightened constitution and the reasonable rule of law in every area of the world where those essential services are lacking.

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Results of Referendum

In the local government offices of Nilkawt, and in the parliament itself, the deliberative referendum on the future name for the County of State has resolved overwhelmingly that the best name for the county is Twaklintonshire.

The deliberative referendum process is unlikely to go to a ballot as no-one has yet provided any sensible reasons why the new name should not be adopted immediately.  There had originally been much argument as to whether options c, d or e would be best.  Options a and b were immediately rejected by just about everyone.  Only a few comedians wanted option f.  Several undecided persons wanted option g.

A compromise between c, d and e was therefore the best option to consider, which is why Twaklintonshire has been chosen.  The entire cabinet is in agreement with the decision.

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Gross Domestic Product

Since the restoration of the money key in Nilkawt, GDP has officially risen considerably.  This has mainly been as a consequence of boom-like prosperity in Backoutshire and Elegantshire.

Even so, there has been much concern expressed in parliament.  It is feared that the beautiful Nilkawtian national parks could be under threat from proposals for new infrastructure.

The Minister for Housing has been reviewing the situation.  The cabinet has recently proposed that the entire County of State should immediately become a conservation zone.

There are also many other matters requiring decisions.  No-one wants to deal with the ongoing constitutional conundrums.  Unfortunately, the consequential traffic through the remote wilderness areas of the royal palace grounds have been causing considerable disruption and disturbance.  This is an urgent issue of national security.

Backoutshire was once known as the Ethereal Kingdom of Back.  It was, at that time, imaginatively ruled by the Mozart siblings.

Since becoming a county of Nilkawt, the former kingdom is an integral part of the Nilkawtian system of local government.  Lord Dughall Google Platter-Plus-Bugle, the current Earl of Backoutshire is soon to end his tenure as the chief officer of that county.

For a significant amount of time now, the earl has also been assisting the Head of State with her considerable constitutional duties.  That has prevented the earl from touring the training facilities of Backoutshire as regularly as he would prefer.

Lord Backoutshire, as he is also known, wishes to extend his influence in relation to the further industrial development of Nilkawt.  He is particularly interested in expanding opportunities for business in Backoutshire.  Yet the traditional transitional arrangements of the Nilkawtians will probably prevent him from having as much influence as he would prefer.  The Earldom of Backoutshire is about to lapse.

As The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers has already been asked to look into all the most complicated problems in Nilkawt, the cabinet hopes most of the problems will be solved quite easily within the next few days.

The Company has already provided the cabinet with a confidential assessment of the border and broader issues.  It is already known, by most Nilkawtians, that currency trading has been causing artificial perceptions of prosperity in various parts of the world. 

In neighbouring Little Outbush, for example, most of the country has been developed into Merrie Olde Little Outbush, a Utopian Pseudo-England with much better weather than the real one.  Yet the currency of Little Outbush, the Duckling, has suffered a major decline since its borders closed.

There may even be artificial perceptions of poverty occurring around the globe, especially with so many persons claiming hardship whilst living in comparatively expensive houses in relatively peaceful locations. The Nilkawtian government budget not only addresses such problems locally but also globally.

The difficulties for returning citizens to Nilkawt are continuing as they gather at the only open border, waiting to pass in single file through the passport control point.  The outreach services of the Perpetual Wait are kept busy.

In the County of State, there is much concern about the current barriers to trade.  The caves under Dada, Backoutshire and Foolya have many mysterious twists and turns.  The crisis in Little Outbush has caused a funnel tunnel effect down rabbit holes, wombat holes and Hobbit holes in the principality.  Everyone is trying to escape.

For some strange reason, increasing GDP is a considerable concern of governments around the world.  It apparently means gross domestic product.  But what does gross domestic product really mean?

It apparently refers to the market value of all items currently for sale.  It is measured in money, particularly the money likely to be exchanged between buyers and sellers.  It does not measure the usefulness or peacefulness of the market itself.  It does not measure poverty or pollution or inequality.

The Nilkawtians do all they can to prevent economic inequality within their own society.  The Constitution states that every Nilkawtian is equally entitled to live in a beautiful, healthy environment and enjoy a peaceful, prosperous society.  That is why so many Nilkawtians are continuing to make their way home from other parts of the world.

Friday, 9 December 2016

National Security

With the borders of Nilkawt currently being endured as excessively challenging obstacles by many ordinary members of the public, the Nilkawtian cabinet continues to contemplate measures to address the situation safely.

This includes a review of the management of land.  It does not really require yet another review of tender processes though such a national security review of tender processes may be necessary in relation to land and borders.

The Minister for Brilliance, Prosperity and Pleasant Foreign Relations has suggested the democratic annexation of the principality of Little Outbush, particularly as only three people are permitted to vote in the principality.  Two of those voters are about to return home from a cruise around New Zealand.

The Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments prefers the further touristic and strategic development of the Nilkawtian cave system as a safer option, particularly as there are quite a few children currently living in Little Outbush, all of whom are precocious child actors.

A meeting of the sublime secretariat yesterday came to the conclusion that Nilkawtian contractual agreements should be examined further, particularly in relation to the other borders of the ethereal grand duchy.  Most of the farm land on the other side of Nilkawt's borders is owned by Nilkawtian citizens and residents though it is mostly leased to Australian farmers.

Nilkawtians are always keen to maintain the integrity of their personal and national security and reliability.  This is why they have a clear and reasonable international peace strategy.

Thursday, 8 December 2016


The Twaklinaeum is the official Nilkawtian institute of cultural diplomacy.  It is based in Twaklinton, the capital of Nilkawt though much of its work is conducted in and from Adelaide in Australia.

The culture of Nilkawt especially relates to its agriculture and horticulture, as well as its literature and architecture and culinary achievements.  Nilkawtian cookery books are obviously works of art in themselves.

The director of the Twaklinaeum is currently Ms Kali Pathi-Pathos, a former Nilkawtian attorney-general.  One of the main duties of the director is to ascertain the suitability of an institution for the patronage of the Nilkawtian head of state.  The head of state is, quite obviously, the patron of the Twaklinaeum.

Through the Twaklinaeum, the Nilkawtian Association of South Australia is supported.  The association itself is also under the patronage of the Nilkawtian head of state.

On an international scale, the work of the Twaklinaeum is meant to be supported by the ambassador-at-large for the International Promotion of Nilkawtian Banqueting.  His Excellency Mr Groper Tait O'Sullivan, a former Nilkawtian minister for agriculture, is the current ambassador-at-large.

His Excellency is, however, spending much of his time cruising the world, at his own expense, comparing the banquets and buffets on board with those in Nilkawt.  He has delegated many of his ambassadorial duties to Mr Rollo Polo, a former Nilkawtian minister for arts and sciences.

Mr Polo takes a particular interest in the culinary arts, including the commercial aspects.  That may be why he charges considerable fees to everyone seeking to attend a Nilkawtian banquet, long before they receive the formal invitations to experience one.

The Nilkawtian tourism commissioner is usually in attendance at every Nilkawtian banquet, wherever those banquets take place.  The work of the commissioner, Sir Wolfie A Mozart, is also conducted under the patronage of the head of state, via the Twaklinaeum.

Through the Twaklinaeum, various Nilkawtian arts practitioners are commissioned to explain the Nilkawtian levels of government to the world.  The commissioned arts practitioners are required to do so through various mediums at various banquets in various areas of the international sphere.

The Nilkawtian head of state is also the patron of the Twaklinian School of International and Constitutional Law and Peace, National School of Acting and Effective Action, the Institute of the Twaklinesque, the Foolya Biennale and the Secular Order of the Perpetual Wait.