Saturday, 1 April 2017

Comedy

Although most news from this digital embassy is usually delivered to a global audience of attentive journalists, diplomats, academics and informed citizens at 9am from Monday to Friday on an irregular basis, it is most unusual for any Nilkawtian news to be supplied from here at any time at all on weekends.  Today is an obvious exception.

The ambassador has only just realised that contractual agreements do not apply to the services of automatons.  Contracted arrangements are, however, meant to be applied in relation to currency trading and comedy, regardless of the performance venues used.

The results of a referendum are not meant to provide material for a comedy though some of the suggestions for referendums are obviously comedic in themselves.  The results of a referendum are also deemed to be a contract in Nilkawt.

Automatons are fully occupied in many tasks in Nilkawt itself, particularly in the cell-fee building and in the health care system.  They do not have the capacity to tell jokes or play tricks on people, which is why they are more reliable than most computerised items in the world.

Seeking to ensure things run smoothly always requires accurately informed answers.  The traditional transitional arrangements within any organisation do not usually involve the use of automatons.  The Nilkawtians, however, mainly use automatons when people would otherwise cause chaos. 

The Royal Robots and Noble Automatons in the royal palace in Nilkawt are the responsibility of the senior ladies-in-waiting, namely the Women of the Bedchamber.  They seek to ensure automatons are involved in the improvement of Nilkawt into perpetuity.

Most routine work, whether involving cleaning, answering questions, performing administrative tasks or providing educational and outreach services can easily be supplied by automatons nowadays.  The Outreach Services of the Perpetual Wait are a notable exception.

In Nilkawt itself, all comedy, including bad jokes, must first be approved by the Humour Rights Commissioner.  The most recent former commissioner is currently available here to supply satirical commentary on the subject of comedy and traditions.

The staff in the Office of Electoral Progress in Nilkawt seek to ensure no-one becomes cynical about the possibility of a better world.  Although most governments are a joke, that does not mean entire populations should be treated as ridiculous.  All most people need is a little enlightenment and a little light relief.

All good humourists and satirists, like all reasonably talented stand-up comics, sitting comedians and assorted commissioners, spend much time recording reactions accurately.  Whether there should be any humour involved in a financial services review is a matter for much comic commentary.

Statistics are sometimes unintentionally funny, even when humour rights are not directly expressed in the collection and/or analysis.  Even so, there is little to laugh about when faced with difficulties associated with maintaining healthy natural limitations and sustainable trade.

However, contractual agreements can easily be funny as well as fair.  This particularly applies in relation to the delivery.  Timing is always important in contracts and comedic performances.

Any cultural industry with insufficient comedy is obviously impoverished.  The severity of excessive seriousness undermines mental health considerably.

The science of humour is seriously studied in Nilkawt within the Possibility Institute of Healthy Fun and Laughter (PIHFL).  The institute is associated with the Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering (TASTE).

A reasonably joyful cheerfulness is certainly necessary for morale when considering the obstacles to enlightened economic development.  This is particularly the case for citizen-advocates.

An accountable government is never a joke though there are few of those in the world, even when they win elections.  It is only when they lose or become misplaced that they may become accountable. 

The aforementioned former humour rights commissioner is now employed at the Nilkawtian National Museum of Former Traditions.  The cafeteria there serves many stale jokes to unsuspecting visitors, at no extra cost.

Since the appointment of a new humour rights commissioner, the power and influence of humour in Nilkawt has risen considerably.  The new commissioner is now the leading player in the new Cabinet of Commissioners.

The constitutional basis of comedy and commissioners is likely to be assessed quite soon in the Hike Kawt Court of the Caught, as is the legal status of the court itself.

Friday, 31 March 2017

Parks and Gardens

Many people visit Nilkawt primarily to admire the dramatic organic parks and remarkable organic gardens.  His Sustainableness The Viscount Twaklinton is the patron of all outdoor maintenance activities.

As husband to the Nilkawtian Head of State, Her Illustrious Highness, Viscount Twaklinton is delegated many royal duties of the rugged variety.  Whether planting trees, clearing weeds or keeping up with the latest research on soil management, Viscount Twaklinton expresses an informed approach to the tasks.  He is also a former Nilkawtian environment minister.

There are many community gardens in Nilkawt as well as private ones and public ones.  There are no lawns.  Nilkawtians have long prided themselves on their lawnless order.

There is a large export park in the county of Elegantshire in Nilkawt.  It, too, is beautifully maintained though understandably utilitarian in its purpose.  Within the export park are many grand parks and magnificent shopping facilities.

All trainee citizens are taught the basics of successful organic gardening, as well as many other useful subjects.  Most Nilkawtians grow at least a few of their own vegetables and fruits.  They are also easily able to trade the rest.

In their leisure hours, many Nilkawtians spend much time enjoying the national parks of Nilkawt.  Many visitors do the same, though the latter are frequently fined for behaving inappropriately in such places.

Many of the major settlements within Nilkawt have their own parklands.  Many parklands are tended through tender processes.  If your intention is to attempt to tender for work within Nilkawt, please ensure you are fully familiar with all the requirements before doing so.

Certainty and continuity are very important to the Nilkawtians, regardless of the weather.  This is why there are several historically-themed pleasure gardens in Nilkawt.  The further industrial development of Nilkawt is always in keeping with the appropriate preservation of natural heritage and cultural heritage.

Visitors, whether intentionally in Nilkawt or not, are reminded to uphold the laws against trespassers and other nuisances.  Safety is very important to the Nilawtians.  No self respecting Nilkawtian would trust strangers, however friendly they may seem.

Deepening acquaintances in Nilkawt is possible in many ways, especially for visitors eager to become temporary members of one or more Nilkawtian gardening club.  Several clubs combine gardening with other activities.  This particularly applies with regards to the Austrooliana Club.

Shopping for elegant fountains and statues for any suitably sized garden is usually most successful in Elegantshire.  Uniquely extraordinary sculptures are most likely to be available for purchase at the Foolya Biennale.

There are magnificently scientific and deliciously tasteful investigative gardens maintained through the Twaklinton Academy of Science, Technology and Engineering.  Only the most suitably qualified members may gain entry.

Many visitors to Nilkawt enjoy admiring the gardens and orchards of the planned communities and model villages on scheduled tours.  Unscheduled visits are not permitted.

Entry to the royal palace gardens is understandably expensive.  This is particularly the case during international conferences.

Many Nilkawtians love to garden.  They are keen to improve Nilkawt into perpetuity as no doubt you are already aware. 

Much environmental monitoring occurs throughout Nilkawt and most especially near the royal palace.  Fortunately, a referendum has never been required before conducting any sort of scientific study in Nilkawt though the nomenclature of people and places is another matter entirely.

The Nilkawtians are unwilling to advance the GDP of Nilkawt by destroying the beauty of their surroundings.  That is why they charge considerable sums of money to people seeking to visit those surroundings.

Admiring a landscape, and looking ahead in other ways, are widely respected practices in Nilkawt.


Thursday, 30 March 2017

Public Transport

Most of the transport in Nilkawt in public transport.  It is efficient and well-maintained and affordable.

There are various forms of pedal powered public transport in Nilkawt as well as solar powered public transport and wind powered public transport.  There are magnificent walking tracks, elegantly wide footpaths and appropriately dignified promenading pavements.  There are separate bicycling paths, tricycling paths and roadways.

Only public medical research assistants are eligible for free public transport.  Everyone else has access to easy payment facilities. 

There are regularly scheduled transportation connections between Nilkawt and Australia but not vice versa.  Transportation to Australia is provided in an ad hoc and immediate manner to anyone deemed unworthy to remain in Nilkawt.  The latter is obviously more expensive to the recipient than the scheduled services.

Each settlement in Nilkawt has its own transportation services, just as it has its own health institutes.

Fares for public transport in Nilkawt are paid through the Twaklincom system.

The electric powered buses, minibuses, trams and trains of Nilkawt are the most splendidly beautiful and reliable in the world.  There are no fossil fueled or bio fueled public transport facilities in any Nilkawtian location.

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Leisure

There are many leisure facilities in Nilkawt and no sporting ones.  To the Nilkawtians, sport is a vulgar, unproductive activity much like militaristic pursuits.

Leisure, to the Nilkawtians, is meant to be relaxing, not competitive or otherwise aggressive.  All leisure time in Nilkawt is usefully used.

In pleasant weather, many Nilkawtians enjoy leisurely evening promenades.  They enjoy improving themselves in well-rounded and healthy ways.  No Nilkawtians suffer from sporting injuries, of course.


Friday, 24 March 2017

Artistic Building Commission

The harmonious interplay of beauty, understanding and magnificence supplies the building blocks of every free, fair and refreshing society.  Since the territory of Nilkawt has recently expanded, the necessity has arisen to beautify the bland with a little more urgency than usual.

The Artistic Building Commission was therefore established secretly a few weeks ago.  The surreptitious nature of the development has ensured the inaugural secret commissioner could conduct his research without the unnecessary influence of vested interests.

In many societies, vested interests are the cause of much ugliness.  Those interests seek to profit by imposing their profit-motive on the landscape as cheaply and shoddily as possible. 

The arrogant over-confidence of the profit-seekers is matched by the ignorance of unimaginative officials and politically motivated philistines.  Unimaginative officials prefer glossy documentation and utilitarian practicality to contextual magnificence and relevance.  Politically motivated philistines prefer the monstrosity of grandiosity to beautiful usefulness.

The Artistic Building Commission will soon have a team of secret commissioners to identify possible improvements to the Nilkawtian built environment.  Those commissioners are likely to include enlightened landscape designers, frugal architects and former tourists.

None of the secret commissioners will be expected to sit in the cabinet.  Nor will they be expected to do any public speaking or appear in promotional videos.

It is not expected that the cost of housing in Nilkawt will rise as a consequence of the work of the Artistic Building Commission.  Nor is it likely there will be a rise in the cost of infrastructure and its maintenance. 

There could be a cost associated with urban planning, mainly due to the fact that most of the planners will require additional training in aesthetics.  However, this is likely to pay for itself very quickly in terms of increased enjoyment of the surroundings by the public at large.

All permanent housing in Nilkawt is affordable.  Much of it is also beautiful. 

In international terms, Nilkawtian permanent housing may even be considered to be public housing even though privacy and community supports are widespread and carefully maintained.  That housing is safe, secure and the surrounding areas are extraordinary well maintained though never overly pruned.

There is no housing market in Nilkawt except for temporary accommodation.  Much of that temporary accommodation is in urgent need of beautification.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Language

Considerable revenue is raised each year, by the local government authorities of Nilkawt, through the elocution laws, the eloquence laws and the elegance laws.  These laws apply just as much to visitors as they do to locals.

In any part of the world, visitors are reminded to respect local laws and customs.  This can cause considerable inconvenience when obliged to pass through a transit point in which unpleasant social conventions tend to be the norm.

To visit Nilkawt, for example, it is necessary to pass through Australia.  Indeed, it is necessary for visitors to have an Australian passport with which to apply for a visa to enter Nilkawt.

The language expected of all persons within Nilkawt is moderate, modern, modified, dignified, modal and well-modulated English.  Indeed, all utterances in Nilkawt, even if not language-based, are expected to be unobtrusive, with the possible exception of hiccups and privately-expressed coughs.

Testing at the Nilkawtian border can be a considerable added expense to unsuspecting visa holders.  One of the ways in which the border guards assess the validity of travel documents is through a carefully structured interview process.

Additionally, several immigration officials are likely to be disguised as visitors.  They interact with visa holders at the border to ascertain the law-abiding qualities of the persons in question.

Customs officers disguised as visitors similarly interact with visa holders.  Their job is to assess whether those persons are sufficiently aware of all forms of Nilkawtian customs.

Well before you are provided with a visa to enter Nilkawt, it would be wise to ensure you are aware of many sorts of customs, modes, modulation, modalities, modernity and modal forms.  You are also likely to find it useful to interact beforehand with many high quality, magnificently mature models of eloquence and elegance.


Further information


History of entry requirements

Participating in the royal palace tour

History of citizenship training

Institute of the Twaklinesque

Business as usual

Ballot box

Returning citizens

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Official Fast-Track Visa Service

Waiting times for most visas to Nilkawt currently vary between thirty-five years and eighty years.  Persons, businesses and institutions with considerable financial means can overcome that seemingly perpetual wait by paying for privileged treatment.

Anyone known to have used unauthorised visa processing services will immediately be placed at the back of the queue.  The Nilkawtians do all they can to prevent scams.

Please note that there is an ongoing review of visa categories.  Any recommended changes are only likely to affect persons applying for a third or subsequent visa.  The only exception applies in relation to fast-tracked first and second visas.

Most Nilkawtian visa administrative processes are now automated.  The same cannot be said of the psychological and financial assessments of applicants.  Those processes are very expensive.  The highly knowledgeable, remarkably talented assessors have undergone considerable training before qualifying for investigative tasks.

Visa applicants are expected to cover all the costs involved in their assessments, even without purchasing the fast-track option.  Please expect to pay upwards of five million Australian dollars for the quickest service.

Visas to Nilkawt - introduction

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Twaklinford Academy of Compatibility

In many relationships, in families, workplaces and communities, there are usually many incompatibilities.  To remedy the situation, the people of Twaklinford, being highly compassionate, highly compatible, open-minded and co-operative individuals, have recently established the Twaklinford Academy of Compatibility.

For many years, the Nilkawtians have been keen to establish scientific measures of compatibility for all their communities and workplaces.  In much of Nilkawt, the community and the workplaces are inexorably intertwined.

The main difficulties faced in Nilkawt arise when outsiders temporarily enter a community.  No outsiders are permitted to enter a Nilkawtian community permanently unless they are suitably compatible with the existing residents.

To solve such problems, the Twaklinfordians consider it helpful for everyone to visit their community before going anywhere else.  The Twaklinford Academy of Compatibility has therefore been built like a triangular city wall, completely surrounding the village. 

There are two gateways in the southern wall for the entry and exit of visitors.  There are also several secret gateways and passageways within the wall exclusively for the use of Twaklinfordians.

Until recently, Twaklinford was known, somewhat bureaucratically, as village number two.  After many years of protesting in association with neighbouring villages, by the highly creative occupants won the right to change the name of their settlement.  They also won the right to change the names of many of the features of their village.

Harmonious neighbourhood relations are highly valued in Nilkawt.

Monday, 20 March 2017

Cabinet of Commissioners

A few days ago, the results of the most recent cabinet elections were announced by Her Illustrious Highness, the Ethereal Grand Duchess, in the Thrown Room of Palazzo Twaklinilkawt.  To everyone's surprise, no ordinary, incompetent citizens were elected to any of the vacant positions.

The previous cabinet had, in secret, unanimously agreed that a great improvement in the quality of cabinet government in Nilkawt, and in many other countries, would be possible only with a cabinet of commissioners instead.  In view of this, all the current and former commissioners in Nilkawt have been appointed to the inaugural Cabinet of Commissioners.

Nilkawt has, and has had, many commissions and commissioners:


Former Humour Rights Commissioner

Independent Commissioners for Free and Fair Elections

Independent Commissioners Against Corruption

Former Trade and Investment Commissioner

Political Reform Commission

Tourism Commissioner

New Humour Rights Commissioner

Acting Interim Strategic Interests' Commissioner for Mutually Lucrative Trade and Peaceful Long-Term Investments

Reasonable Insurance Risk Commission

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Preventing Unnecessary Dependence

The constitution of Nilkawt states that the state and its people should never become unnecessarily dependent on anyone or anything.  This is why no Nilkawtian is fully employed in menial tasks.  It is also why non-Nilkawtians can usually only obtain short-term visas.

Unnecessary dependence tends to result in apathy and stagnation.  This is why apathetic foreigners are usually deported from Nilkawt well before the end of their visas.

As well as apathy, excessive worrying and excessive boredom are banned in Nilkawt. 

Anyone worrying excessively is either in need of psychological counselling or another form of remedial education.  Non-Nilkawtians should primarily seek those services outside Nilkawt.

Anyone feeling excessively bored is obviously in need of psychological counselling and remedial education.  Motivation is an important aspect of all activities in Nilkawt, as are genuine emotions.

To prevent apathy, worry and boredom in Nilkawt, a therapeutic course of training is supplied to sufferers.  It involves learning competency in a wide range of otherwise menial tasks.  Many of those skills can be acquired to an acceptable level of accomplished within a few hours, a few days or a few weeks.

The easiest skills are taught first.  They usually involve matters such as safety, hygiene, public health and environmental health.  The next level includes practical knowledge of the workings of useful equipment, most usually with the assistance of instruction manuals.

The skills are initially taught in the context of their usefulness to the sufferer.  By methodically training people to acquire an acceptable level of independence, the skills can gradually be applied in social contexts.

Initiative is required in social contexts.  Anticipating people's needs never involves imposing anything upon them. 

Inappropriate interpersonal skills are never acceptable in Nilkawt.

The aim of the training is to prevent anxiety and encourage relaxation.  In Nilkawt, relaxation never equates with laziness.  To be lazy is to be apathetic.

It is usually unnecessary to pry into why people feel apathetic, bored or worried if they can transcend those feelings quite easily through practical competencies.  The purpose of the competencies is to build both self-reliance and social usefulness.

The trainee gradually develops competencies in communication, catering, security, housekeeping, administration, construction, maintenance, horticulture and hospitality.  The training is carefully controlled, carefully supervised and self-paced.  Apathy, boredom and worry are thereby prevented.

If the anxiety levels of a person are too severe, there are likely to be significant injustices in their lives.  While apathy tends to be passively detrimental, anxiety is actively detrimental.

Justice systems are meant to alleviate anxiety whilst simultaneously preventing apathy.  To the Nilkawtians, foreigners already in possession of high levels of anxiety should not seek to visit Nilkawt.  Nor should foreigners seek to visit Nilkawt mainly with the intention of relieving themselves of boredom.

It is unlikely that apathetic foreigners will be bothered enough to apply for a visa to visit Nilkawt.  The stimulation towards motivation is lacking in apathetic people.  Arousing their interest, and their empathy, is their own responsibility. 

Preventing apathetic people from becoming a societal problem requires teamwork.  In Nilkawt, those teams consist of psychological counsellors trained as legal practitioners and legal practitioners trained as psychological counsellors.

Preventing anxious people from becoming a societal problem also requires teamwork.  Most anxiety is caused by bullying, though that is hardly ever likely to occur in Nikawt.  Bullying itself is a form of anxiety.  It displays itself as excessive ambitiousness.  Bullies are highly competitive though they rarely have the competence to match their ambitions.

Bullies fail to acknowledge that they are dependent on other people for their own perceived success.  They view other people as obstacles on the way to their own achievement.  The narcissism and grandiosity of bullies creates a great deal of anxiety in the world.  And when people feel unable to stop the bullying, they begin to feel apathetic and powerless.

Bullies believe they are better than other people.  They believe they have superiority for no other reason than achieving an advantage. 

Bullies are always failures, regardless of how much money they have managed to acquire.  They fail because they are dependent.

Bullies reject interdependence.  They do not know how to co-operate.  They do not know how to be independent.  They feed off other people's anxieties.  They are nasty.  Nilkawt therefore, quite understandably, bans them.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Preventing Hazards

All Nilawtians become Nilkawtians of their own volition.  No-one is forced to become a Nilkawtian.  No-one is forced to live in Nilkawt. 

Since the borders of Nilkawt have now resumed their normal status, all Nilkawtians and non-Nilkawtians can leave Nilkawtian territory on any day of the week, even during public holidays.

The Nilkawtians have long been renowned for taking corrective and preventative action towards all sorts of risks and hazards.  They know that self-efficacy and good reasoning are common Nilkawtian traits.

One of the main problems in the world is impulsiveness.  On many occasions, impulsiveness is irrational.  The Nilkawtians consider impulsiveness to be rude.  Indeed, impulsiveness is considered to be a hazard in Nilkawt.

Potential visitors to Nilkawt are currently assessed in relation to their motivation.  Their decision-making abilities are scientifically examined well before visas are issued. 

The process begins through distance education procedures.  All applicants are expected to have a considerable understanding of the neuroscience of free will.  They are also required to have a practical understanding of the theories of problem solving.

To ensure potential visitors are keenly aware of all potential hazards, and act accordingly, they must complete extensive training before being admitted into Nilkawt itself.  Only the most keen achievers are likely to be rewarded with visas.

Nilkawtians have little tolerance of apathy, lethargy and avolition.  They want to ensure their society remains a quality management system.

Thursday, 23 February 2017

Preventing a Financial Crisis

The security of the Nilkawtian financial system has long been a matter of concern to foreign investors, even though that concern has rarely been stated.  The entry requirements for Nilkawt tend to keep out many potential investors though that does not necessarily mean their money is not welcome.

The Bank of Nilkawt has been run for a considerable time in a similar way to the current White House in Washington.  Many adverse consequences for Nilkawtian philanthropy have therefore recently arisen.

Funds for all official Nilkawtian philanthropy are funneled through the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt.  International philanthropic pursuits sponsored by the Government of Nilkawt are then funneled through this embassy and into the Australian financial system.

A significant proportion of Nilkawtian government activities are also financed through the Ethereal Bank.  All the financial accounts of the Treasury of Nilkawt are kept in the Bank of Nilkawt until required.

There is considerable openness in Nilkawt, both literally and figuratively.  This particularly appears to apply in relation to financial matters.

Nilkawtians have long prided themselves on the excellence of the Nilkawtian economy.  They know that planning is meant to solve problems.

The Nilkawtians are the best planners in the world.  Identifying and solving problems is a well-known Nilkawtian pastime.  Finding the root causes of problems is always a paramount priority in Nilkawt.  That may sometime involve a Hike Kawt challenge.

Even so, a powerful central bank is important in any society.  Preventing greed and corruption should be everyone's priority.  The only way to do that is to prevent any country having an aggressive foreign policy.

Nilkawt currently has no access to the sea.  The Nilkawtian government is therefore considering claiming all the Spratly Islands and all the Paracel Islands for reasons of fairness.  The current Nilkawtian Minister for Science, Art and Enlightenment, Ms Caroline Stein, has already conveyed the proposition to the Enlightened Nations.

The Nilkawtians have always been the world's most enlightened upholders of international law, contractual agreements and the uncommon law.   Leading the ongoing negotiations to expand Nilkawtian territory is the current Minister for Brilliance, Prosperity and Pleasant Foreign Relations, Lady Kardzonda Taybull.

A current board member of the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt, the current Nilkawtian Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments, Lady Verity (Veri) Goode, has for some time been raising concerns regarding the influence of vested interests. The other board members have dismissed those concerns, believing that Lady Veri is far too busy with her various duties to know what is going on in the bank.

The current Nilkawtian Minister for Education, Training and Interpersonal Niceties, Mr Nick MacYavelly, has been staying as a guest at the White House in Washington DC for much of the past month.  He has known several of the senior persons there for a considerable number of years and is therefore well aware of their ignorance in relation to diplomatic matters and international responsibilities.

Since the completion of the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review of 2015-16, a much clearer picture has emerged of the national and international financial situation.  Having observed the review process, the Nilkawtian Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade, Doctor Carrie Inca-Passitti, believes the recent local expansion of Nilkawtian territory could be supported further by extensive maritime and pantomime possibilities.

The Nilkawtian Minster for Peace and Justice, Ms Laura Ntuha-Selph, believes Nilkawt should take all its claims of sovereignty to the highest courts and kawts in the universe, if the finances are available to do so.  Having examined the constitutional basis of the One Nilkawt Policy, and located maps from the time of the Song Dynasty confirming Nilkawtian sovereignty of the South China Sea, Ms Ntuha-Selph has additionally found evidence that China has no legitimate claim to any land, sea, air or mineral resources beyond the boundaries once inhabited by the Song.

In fact, the Song also recognised Nilkawtian sovereignty over the land occupied by the Liao dynasty.  Ms Ntuha-Selph wonders if that information should be taken to an international tribunal quite soon.

The Nilkawtians have always had very good neighbourhood relations.  They rarely eat seafood.  They have very little use for fossil fuels.  They know that most international relations are based on historical fiction.

The Nilkawtians also have a very fair system of wealth distribution, unlike most societies.  The Office of Statistical Enlightenment can provide all the necessary details in that regard.

If you desire to prevent a financial crisis, in any part of the world, or even in the world in its entirety, how do you intend to do so?  Will you require the services of the Sublime Secretariat?

Members of the Secretariat are currently assisting Lady Veri to investigate her concerns regarding the Ethereal Bank.  The further industrial development of Nilkawt may depend on the outcome.

The complexity of financial systems has long been of concern to The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers.  Complexity assists corruption.  Simplicity assists supervision.  Straightforward, honest processes assist economic development.

Many Nilkawtians are aware that the Dada School of Management has trained many former prospective students of Trump University in the art of wealth creation.  Many Nilkawtian officials are, as a consequence, now frantically trying to rescue the Ethereal Bank and Nilkawt's international reputation.

The repercussions have been widespread.  Most of the Australian seasonal workers in Nilkawt have now been forced to leave their jobs and return home.  That has made open international relations far more difficult to maintain. 

Most of the seasonal workers have only just discovered that their contracts state they are expected to pay to be employed in Nilkawt.  Exploiting foreigners has long been one of the most profitable state enterprises in Nilkawt.

In April last year, at an international conference on global finance, the diversity of the Nilkawtian financial system became well-known to all reputable economists.  Financial services, including currency trading, have long been something of a joke to the global public, except the members playing golf.

At every Enlightened Nations conference, delegates have a tendency to complain about intelligence services, and the lack of adequate intelligence.  Enlightened individuals, and enlightened nations, want security and reliability.

The Nilkawtians always have a neat and tidy government budget and a clear idea of their sovereignty.  They are consistently supported by highly trained citizen-advocates.  They celebrate their elections, enrolment and ennoblement with appropriate dignity.

Since October last year, there has been a new trade and investment strategy in place in Nilkawt.  One of its benefits has been the increase in tax revenue.  That has helped Nilkawt to purchase additional lands and upgrade its international peace strategy.

The energy systems and policies of Nilkawt may soon require an upgrade to cope with the recent expansion.  This is in keeping with the most recent Enlightened Nations Resolution.

Everyone is wondering whether the Nilkawtian National Day should be a grander affair next year, if such grandeur can be afforded.  If there is a financial crisis in the meantime, please refer all indications of indignation to the White House in Washington DC.

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Remediation and Rehabilitation Procedures

Unlike other societies, Nilkawt gives priority to remediation activities.  The process begins with the prevention of the need for remediation. 

Why other societies do not do likewise is a considerably mystery to the Nilkawtians.  Preventing difficulties for future generations is a constitutional duty in Nilkawt.

Having recently expanded their territory, there is much remediation work for the Nilkawtians now to do.  Groundwater remediation is a priority.  Much of the problem with the water supply in Nilkawt has been a consequence of ignorant and selfish neighbours.

The formerly foreign land recently purchased for Nilkawtian purposes has required highly sensitive diplomatic negotiations over many months.  After a referendum was held in Little Outbush last week, the eligible Little Outbushians voted unanimously to sell the principality to the Nilkawtians.

Many years ago, Little Outbush was no more than a few Australian paddocks with a small hillock in the middle.  The hillock contained an abundant freshwater spring and a highly sensitive and unique natural ecosystem.  All the surrounding land was long considered by the local community to be no more than paddocks or scrub or a mixture of the two.

Prince Parly Men-Tory X-XCVI usurped control of Little Outbush from his elder brother, Harold Farmer, in 1979.  Parly was then known as Bill. 

In 1970, Harold was serving as an Australian army caterer in Vietnam.  He was seriously injured when his convoy came under friendly fire from a platoon of American drug-addicts

To Bill, the battle with nature was more important than the battle with communists.  The only purpose of nature was, in his view, to make good business people like himself very rich.

To people like Bill, environmental remediation has always been an avoidable cost. Profit is the sole criteria of business activities, in their view.  Pollution is not their problem.  Anyone expressing a contrary view is likely to be a communist sympathiser.

Harold's physical and mental injuries soon became apparent after he was evacuated to Australia. His rehabilitation was then the priority for most of the family.  Bill merely regarded his brother as a loser.

All the new land acquired by Nilkawt requires considerable rehabilitation.  Only Little Outbush was inhabited by anyone.  Many people have been happy to leave there since the borders reopened.  Only Nilkawtians are now permitted to enter Little Outbushian territory.


Background information


1. More constitutional conundrums

2. National security

3. Gross Domestic Product

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Looking Ahead

Part of the process of assessing prospective visitors to Nilkawt involves an examination of their ability to look ahead.  This is reflected in the visa types and the types of people likely to acquire them.  People with the ability to type are obviously at an advantage.

Anyone appearing to have an inability to judge potential consequences is unlikely to gain access to Nilkawt.

Anyone looking, thinking or behaving suspiciously is likely to be placed at the back of the queue.

Anyone making stupid decisions will not be permitted to join the queue at all.

Looking ahead has long been part of the job of the Nilkawtian Bureau of Meteorology (NBM) though its staff turnover is considerable.  Most of the forecasting is now done by robots, as is most of the cleaning.  The staff have therefore turned over to a new chapter in their lives.

Everyone formerly associated with the former NBM and/or the former Ministry for Pleasant Weather, including Ms Sheila B. Wright, one of the former ministers, and Mrs Wendy Greenhouse, a former part-time cleaner, are currently involved in educational pursuits, both as students and teachers.  They are also involved in research and gardening and cooking and cleaning and the provision of many other activities requiring care, attention, exploration and the healthy expression of creativity.

Looking ahead involves enlightened design.  It requires an improved understanding of history.  It means, therefore, that the history of Nilkawt is currently a growth industry.

Improving understanding of the rule of law is also a growth industry in Nilkawt.  Many aspects of Nilkawtian design are subject to remarkably helpful rules and beautifully useful regulations.  This is to be expected in a society with a long, wide and relatively tidy history.

Planning for the future housing needs of Nilkawtians has been a considerable responsibility of the current Minister for Housing.  Well designed accommodation is experienced by many of the occupants of Nilkawtian dwellings.  There are no home owners or greedy property owners in Nilkawt.  Nor are there any homeless Nilkawtians, except of their own volition.

The Minister for Science, Arts and Enlightenment has also been attempting to determine the future direction of Nilkawtian society and the needs of the people in the years ahead, using an evidence-based approach as well as a design-based one.  This is why the Nilkawtian state has recently purchased several adjoining pieces of land, including the former Principality of Little Outbush.

The Nilkawtians look forward to expanding their influence in the world over the coming months.   Please note, however, that Nilkawt currently has no diplomatic relationship with the Principality of Hutt River, the Vatican, any members of the United Nations or insurgency groups. 

Monday, 20 February 2017

Twaklinbridge University

The foundation ceremony for Twaklinbridge University is to take place this afternoon.  During the Dedication of Secular Service presentation, the official Enlightenment Stone will be put in place as the central paving stone of a new Pavilion of Enlightenment.  Simultaneously, at the junction between the main Enlightenment Pathways of the new university, a plaque will be affixed to the Enlightenment Boulder.

Her Illustrious Highness, Twaklin I, is likely to preside at the ceremony.

Friday, 27 January 2017

National Day

January is often a quiet time in Nilkawt.  This even applies on its national day, which happens to be today.

There are no national day parades on this day in Nilkawt.  There are no national day protests.  All is calm.  There is no fuss.  There are no fireworks. 

The Nilkawtian national day has traditionally been a day of peace.  The hope is that it will stay the same into perpetuity.

Even this digital embassy is relatively quiet in January.

In January 2015 there was some mention here, early in the month, of the restoration of the money key.  That was a time of much relief after an unusual upheaval.

Later in that month, the Office of Electoral Progress was mentioned here in relation to the maintenance of societal peacefulness.  The main purpose of that office is to improve democracy, of course.

The local low kawt courts were also mentioned in January 2015.  Maintaining order at a local level helps to ensure the Nilkawtians can maintain order at the national level very well indeed.

In January last year, there was some mention here of the traditional transitional arrangements in Nilkawt and non-traditional ones in this embassy.  There was also a brief account of the very gradual transition to a right royal republic.

Also last January, advice was supplied here on how to become a lady-in-waiting in Nilkawt.  Such a prestigious position obviously attracts many thousands of hopeful candidates each year.

As a highly enlightened sovereign nation, Nilkawt obviously requires a highly enlightening national day.  Yet no-one is quite sure why this day has been chosen.  It has been the Nilkawtian national day for so long that it has become little more than a traditional day of quietness.

Nilkawt is a highly respected upholder of international law.  It is also the home of the Twaklinian School of International and Constitutional Law and Peace.

The nation of Nilkawt has a national flag and national parks and a national anthem.  Nilkawt has long achieved the Most Enlightened Nation Status at the Enlightened Nations.

Nilkawt, as a peaceful and relatively friendly nation, supports open international relations.  In April last year, the Nilkawtians hosted an international conference on global finance.  Nilkawt is also one of the most actively imaginative nations whenever there is an Enlightened Nations conference.

On the national day, the national intranet service of Nilkawt is offered to citizens free of charge.  This assists citizens to update their skills through the International Training Centre for the Harmonious Interplay of Beauty, Understanding and Magnificence.

The Nilkawtian international peace strategy is reflected in its national day.  This supports the national security measures very well indeed.

The borders of Nilkawt are closed on the national day.  One of the entry requirements is therefore to be aware of that fact.

Protocol states that the Nilkawtian head of state either attends international conferences or goes on holiday at this time of year, or combines the two activities.  In view of this, no national honours are announced or presented on or around the national day. 

Monday, 2 January 2017

More New Names

In village number one of the former county of state, the locals have unanimously decided to change the name of their village to Twaklinbridge.  They have decided to change the name of their local college from the Academy of U to the University of Twaklinbridge.  They wish to do so by amalgamating the academy with the Village One Research Institute.

In village number two in the former county of state, the locals have unanimously decided to change the name of their village to Twaklinford.  They are still deciding upon new names for everything else in their vicinity.

In village number three, there has been much disappointment expressed by the locals that they have been unable to change the name of their village to either Twaklinbridge or Twaklinford.

The process of choosing names has given numerical priority to the villages founded first rather than those of larger size.  Village number three is considerably larger than the former village one and former village two put together.

The residents of village number three are currently deciding whether to call their village Twaklinberry or Twaklincoombe, though its extensive undulations make neither name quite appropriate.  The compromise name of Twaklinhope has therefore been tentatively chosen.

The other villages are still awaiting confirmation from village number three before they can decide upon their own new names.  The villagers in village number twelve want to call themselves The Twaklintwelves as there are only twelve residents in the village at present and they do not take kindly to strangers.