The security of the Nilkawtian financial system has long been a matter of concern to foreign investors, even though that concern has rarely been stated. The entry requirements for Nilkawt tend to keep out many potential investors though that does not necessarily mean their money is not welcome.
The Bank of Nilkawt has been run for a considerable time in a similar way to the current White House in Washington. Many adverse consequences for Nilkawtian philanthropy have therefore recently arisen.
Funds for all official Nilkawtian philanthropy are funneled through the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt. International philanthropic pursuits sponsored by the Government of Nilkawt are then funneled through this embassy and into the Australian financial system.
A significant proportion of Nilkawtian government activities are also financed through the Ethereal Bank. All the financial accounts of the Treasury of Nilkawt are kept in the Bank of Nilkawt until required.
There is considerable openness in Nilkawt, both literally and figuratively. This particularly appears to apply in relation to financial matters.
Nilkawtians have long prided themselves on the excellence of the Nilkawtian economy. They know that planning is meant to solve problems.
The Nilkawtians are the best planners in the world. Identifying and solving problems is a well-known Nilkawtian pastime. Finding the root causes of problems is always a paramount priority in Nilkawt. That may sometime involve a Hike Kawt challenge.
Even so, a powerful central bank is important in any society. Preventing greed and corruption should be everyone's priority. The only way to do that is to prevent any country having an aggressive foreign policy.
Nilkawt currently has no access to the sea. The Nilkawtian government is therefore considering claiming all the Spratly Islands and all the Paracel Islands for reasons of fairness. The current Nilkawtian Minister for Science, Art and Enlightenment, Ms Caroline Stein, has already conveyed the proposition to the Enlightened Nations.
The Nilkawtians have always been the world's most enlightened upholders of international law, contractual agreements and the uncommon law. Leading the ongoing negotiations to expand Nilkawtian territory is the current Minister for Brilliance, Prosperity and Pleasant Foreign Relations, Lady Kardzonda Taybull.
A current board member of the Ethereal Bank of Nilkawt, the current Nilkawtian Minister for Health, Defence and Delightful Environments, Lady Verity (Veri) Goode, has for some time been raising concerns regarding the influence of vested interests. The other board members have dismissed those concerns, believing that Lady Veri is far too busy with her various duties to know what is going on in the bank.
The current Nilkawtian Minister for Education, Training and Interpersonal Niceties, Mr Nick MacYavelly, has been staying as a guest at the White House in Washington DC for much of the past month. He has known several of the senior persons there for a considerable number of years and is therefore well aware of their ignorance in relation to diplomatic matters and international responsibilities.
Since the completion of the Nilkawtian Financial Services Review of 2015-16, a much clearer picture has emerged of the national and international financial situation. Having observed the review process, the Nilkawtian Minister for Natural Limitations and Sustainable Trade, Doctor Carrie Inca-Passitti, believes the recent local expansion of Nilkawtian territory could be supported further by extensive maritime and pantomime possibilities.
The Nilkawtian Minster for Peace and Justice, Ms Laura Ntuha-Selph, believes Nilkawt should take all its claims of sovereignty to the highest courts and kawts in the universe, if the finances are available to do so. Having examined the constitutional basis of the One Nilkawt Policy, and located maps from the time of the Song Dynasty confirming Nilkawtian sovereignty of the South China Sea, Ms Ntuha-Selph has additionally found evidence that China has no legitimate claim to any land, sea, air or mineral resources beyond the boundaries once inhabited by the Song.
In fact, the Song also recognised Nilkawtian sovereignty over the land occupied by the Liao dynasty. Ms Ntuha-Selph wonders if that information should be taken to an international tribunal quite soon.
The Nilkawtians have always had very good neighbourhood relations. They rarely eat seafood. They have very little use for fossil fuels. They know that most international relations are based on historical fiction.
The Nilkawtians also have a very fair system of wealth distribution, unlike most societies. The Office of Statistical Enlightenment can provide all the necessary details in that regard.
If you desire to prevent a financial crisis, in any part of the world, or even in the world in its entirety, how do you intend to do so? Will you require the services of the Sublime Secretariat?
Members of the Secretariat are currently assisting Lady Veri to investigate her concerns regarding the Ethereal Bank. The further industrial development of Nilkawt may depend on the outcome.
The complexity of financial systems has long been of concern to The Most Reasonable Company of Simplifiers. Complexity assists corruption. Simplicity assists supervision. Straightforward, honest processes assist economic development.
Many Nilkawtians are aware that the Dada School of Management has trained many former prospective students of Trump University in the art of wealth creation. Many Nilkawtian officials are, as a consequence, now frantically trying to rescue the Ethereal Bank and Nilkawt's international reputation.
The repercussions have been widespread. Most of the Australian seasonal workers in Nilkawt have now been forced to leave their jobs and return home. That has made open international relations far more difficult to maintain.
Most of the seasonal workers have only just discovered that their contracts state they are expected to pay to be employed in Nilkawt. Exploiting foreigners has long been one of the most profitable state enterprises in Nilkawt.
In April last year, at an international conference on global finance, the diversity of the Nilkawtian financial system became well-known to all reputable economists. Financial services, including currency trading, have long been something of a joke to the global public, except the members playing golf.
At every Enlightened Nations conference, delegates have a tendency to complain about intelligence services, and the lack of adequate intelligence. Enlightened individuals, and enlightened nations, want security and reliability.
The Nilkawtians always have a neat and tidy government budget and a clear idea of their sovereignty. They are consistently supported by highly trained citizen-advocates. They celebrate their elections, enrolment and ennoblement with appropriate dignity.
Since October last year, there has been a new trade and investment strategy in place in Nilkawt. One of its benefits has been the increase in tax revenue. That has helped Nilkawt to purchase additional lands and upgrade its international peace strategy.
The energy systems and policies of Nilkawt may soon require an upgrade to cope with the recent expansion. This is in keeping with the most recent Enlightened Nations Resolution.
Everyone is wondering whether the Nilkawtian National Day should be a grander affair next year, if such grandeur can be afforded. If there is a financial crisis in the meantime, please refer all indications of indignation to the White House in Washington DC.